Suffocated
by RubyTheBookworm
Summary: Clary felt like she was being suffocated by her old boyfriend Sebastian so she moves away from him and her father to live instead with her mother Jocelyn and brother Jonathon. She vowed to never let a boy come between her and her life again, that was until she met Jace. (Clace story.)
1. Chapter 1

Sebastian's words hurt, but his fists hurt more. He`d never hit me before...

My head crashed against the wall, making a dent in the plaster. Sebastian had never hit me before. Sebastian had never hit me before. the words flew around my brain as I tried to figure out what was happening.

He`d hit me, a tear rolled down my cheek, Seb said that he loved me.

"Clary!" he shouted as a slap echoed through the silent apartment. My cheek stung. Slowly I got to my feet. but before I was fully up, he pushed me into the wall trapping me in his arms. His mouth was pressed firmly onto mine. his tongue forcing entry into my unyielding mouth. I turned my head to the side but he still didn`t take the hint as he started trailing kisses down my neck. I started shaking my head. no stop.

"NO!" I screamed waking up. I sat bolt upright. Where was I. I started violently shaking, my nightmares still real. Where was I.

"Clary, honey, are you alright" Jocelyn`s voice whispered.

"Mum?" I croaked. looking up to her, she was standing by my bedroom door. My bedroom.

"Having the nightmare again sweetie?" she asked.

"Yeah" It had been 6 months since Sebastian and all the bruises but I still had vivid nightmares. I had moved away shortly after our relationship had gotten too toxic. He wouldn`t take no as an answer.

I didn`t realise that I was crying until Jocelyn pulled me to her lap.

Tomorrow was a fresh start though, I was starting at Alicante high, thousands of miles away from Sebastian. Sebastian and my father, who was still broken up from my sudden departure. I knew that it would be hard for him to cope on his own. Even now, Sebastian is hurting everyone...

* * *

I don`t know how I got here already, outside the school gates of Alicante high. It felt like moments since waking up. But here I was. Ready for a fresh start. I was unknowingly gripping my coffee cup too hard. I`d made a brief stop at Java Jones before getting here. Better get this over and done with.

As I descended into the gates of my new Hell. I felt as if someone was watching me, but as I turned around, I realised that there was no one.

* * *

Rushing into the school office, I was greeted by an over enthusiastic receptionist. She seemed like one of those people who would easily get on people`s nerves. No wonder the other receptionist looked like she was 3 steps away from hitting her.

"Why hello there, keen to start a new day at our school?" She asked me, smiling at me.

No " Yeah sure, I'm Clarissa Fray." I answered her.

"okey dokey Clarissa, " she started standing up. The second receptionist looked at me sympathetically. ",let me just get your timetable then we can set you off with a buddy." She was buzzing around happily.

"It`s Clary" I said.

"ok. Here you go Clary. let me call your buddy, her name is Issabelle and she`s a lovely girl. Oh there she is."

Issabelle did not look like a 'lovely girl' instead, she looked like one of those girls who would throw toilet paper over your house on Halloween or bombard your locker with rubbish. She also looked like one of those girls who I would never talk to again. Her eyes were dark brown, almost black, like his, Sebastian's. Her hair was also black like his, she was tall and slim and devastatingly beautiful. Everything about her reminded me of him. I shivered.

"Can we go now?" She asked impatiently. I looked at her, meeting her stare with my own. one thing Sebastian taught me was to never show weakness.

"Yes. "I replied.

"Then let`s go." She said. Finally the fresh start I was asking for. No boy will get in the way of my life this time.

 **I'm back. The problem is that I just prefer reading to writing so much more. So I normally give up on all stories I write, but I want to write a full story this time. I so don`t want another discontinued one. Please review. I don`t have much insight to what will happen in this story so I am up for requests.**

 **-Ruby-**

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	2. Chapter 2- glitter and Girlfriends

Trying to keep up with Issabelle was hard. My legs were stubby in comparison with hers so I had to jog to keep up. I had a feeling that she was doing that on purpose.

"So, Junior right?" She asked with barely any interest laced into her tone.

"Yeah." I breathed out, I was already slightly out of breath.

"That`s good, I'm a Junior too." I couldn`t tell whether she was being sarcastic or not. So I replied with.

"yeah that's good." we stayed silent for a while.

"Let me see your timetable." She stopped abruptly, causing me to crash into her. Once again I sensed that she did that on purpose. She was smirking as she turned to me. Her hand was held out expectantly, I dug around in my coat searching for it, where was it? It was handed to me only 5 minutes ago.

"Here you go." I said triumphantly. she snatched it out of my hand, not bothering to look patient any more.

"I see you have homeroom, biology and P.E. with me today," she said scanning the sheet quickly, "But I don`t have Art with you, though I know someone who-" she cut off looking over my shoulder before muttering "Speak of the devil, MAGNUS!" She shouted, I turned around to see an eccentric looking man covered head to toe in glitter. He reminded me of one of those people who 'lived' for the creative arts. Everyone`s head turned slightly as he walked past them. I guessed they were used to his shiny fashion sense though, as they didn't give it a second glance.

"Hello to you to Issabelle. And who`s this strawberry shortcake?" He asked looking at me. Shortcake?

"Magnus, just the person I was looking for, Carrie here needs to get to art today and seeing as she`s new, she doesn`t know where it is, sooo I need you to take her there, comprende?"

"Got it." He replied.

"It`s Clary, Clary Fray." I said, reminding her of my name.

"Clary, where have I heard that name before?" He murmured to himself, his eyes widened before looking straight at me.

"Are you by any chance related to Jonathan Fray? " He asked

" Yeah, he's my brother." As soon as the words left my lips though, I soon regretted it. Issabelle's head snapped to my face, scanning to see if I was telling the truth, she was looking at me as if I was suddenly a human being and not just another burden to her.

"Clary, his sister was called Clary, how could I be so stupid." she muttered to herself.

"Then why didn`t you get a ride in his car today. Clary?" Magnus questioned me.

"He didn`t want to stop on the way, and we got into a fight about it until he finally told me that he didn't have enough space for me."

"Oh yeah, Jon usually let`s me and my brothers ride with him, I'm Issabelle, his girlfriend by the way, please call me Izzy though." She extended her hand, reintroducing herself. After shaking it, we stood in an awkward silence for the next few seconds. No one talked, until the school bell rang, signalling for us to get to class. Issabelle looked as if she just remembered where she was.

"Common Clary, we need to get to class quick or Mr Trueblood will get really annoyed. " She rushed grabbing my had and running down the hall. Even in her extremely high heels and tight skirt, she was fast. I on the other hand, was being dragged. My trainers offered no use in helping me be faster. I was dressed in dark grey jeans, and slightly baggy t-shirt. I wouldn`t stand out much if it wasn`t for my bright red hair, which was surprisingly natural. Still, I couldn`t hold a candle up against Issabelle, who looked like a model out of a runway magazine.

We got to class a few minutes later, Mr Trueblood, who was a middle aged, balding man, looked as if he was in a middle of a lecture. He glanced at us for a second before he started again. Izzy walked to the back and took the seat that was nearest to the window. I followed her, acting as invisible as possible. She smiled at me before digging out her phone and blocking out the normal world. I had to admit, it was kind of weird that both Jon's and mine previous ex-boyfriend and his current girlfriend both looked alike. Did we have the same taste in people? Gross.

 **Sorry there was no Clace in this chapter, I just want their first meeting to be more than in the hallway. There will be Clace next scene though. Thank you for all the reviews so far, honestly, I get so happy when you guys review. Anyway some people asked when my update schedule was and right now I'm thinking that I will update every Tuesday and Saturday.**

 **Also has anyone listened to Green Day's new album revolution radio, I was listening to it while writing this.**

 **Once again please review it means so much to me, see you on Saturday,**

 **-Ruby-**

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	3. Chapter 3- PE

The school bell rang, knocking me out of my daydream of my old life, I missed L.A so much. When I first moved there with my father, I thought that I could never love anywhere but New York. But like their weird 'New York Style' pizza, it grew on me. But it`s not like I hate it here. Some part of me always wanted to move back New York, and after Sebastian, it gave me an excuse. The only reason why I missed it was mainly because of Dad. Sure, he was a bit of workaholic, but we got on well enough. I was the substitute for Jon at the start, when I was 10, Jon 11, we decided to live with the other parent. I still visited Jocelyn in the Summer break then Jon would come back with me to live in L.A for a few weeks. Regardless, I missed living here.

"Common Clary, snap out of it." Izzy snapped her fingers, bringing me out of my thoughts once again. I knew Izzy was being nice to me only because I was Jon`s sister. She grabbed my arm, dragging me off to the science labs. She had a very tight grip, like a vice. She seemed the type that didn`t have any real friends who were girls, this was defiantly a grip you would only give a boy. I just hoped that I wouldn`t have a bruise. God knows what was lined up for P.E.

"So Clary, I was thinking that this Friday we could have a sleepover, you know, just us girls." She stated enthusiastically. "Like watch some films, stuff ourselves with popcorn, whatever. " Yeah, she definitely only had friends who were boys. I guessed that no matter what I said though, there was no way I was getting out of this.

"That'll be cool." I replied simply. She squealed loudly, her nails unknowingly biting into the soft flesh of my arm.

"Wow, really, I've never really had a sleepover with another girl before, though I guess you could count Magnus as one right?" She didn`t wait for my reply before continuing, " Wait, I just had a really cool idea, what if we painted each other's nails, did each other's make up and hair, even get an outfit to go with it, then go clubbing?" Clubbing? I'd never even went to a high school party, and shouldn`t that go before clubbing.

"Uh, Izzy, I'm not sure Jon would ever allow me to go to a party here, let alone a club." I said, hoping that that would stop her.

"Oh don't worry about him, if he sais no, I'll just blackmail him" she stated. " Now common, we have to get to science quick, wouldn`t want to make a bad impression of ourselves now would we?" I gave her a slightly disbelieving look, but she acted as if she didn`t see it.

* * *

Biology dragged on for what felt like forever. By the end Izzy had to keep on nudging me to make sure I hadn`t fallen asleep. I loved biology last year, but that was last year, and in L.A. Here though, not so much. Mr Starkweather was a very boring teacher. Every student seemed to also seemed to think that too. Izzy was the only one who didn`t look like she was going to yawn. But then all she did this lesson was look at her phone. Finally break, then P.E.

"Izzy?"

"yeah?"

"What will we be doing for P.E?"

"Um, some laps, running, basketball I guess."

"Ok."

* * *

The locker room looked more dirty than the one back in L.A. The showers looked decades old and so did the changing rooms. I hung my bag on the peg nearest and started getting changed into my gear. Izzy took the peg next to me and started changing too. We changed in silence, though everyone else was talking. Once we were both finished, we walked outside to the field, where we saw a bunch of senior boys warming up for football. Scanning my eyes across the field, I soon spotted Jon. I gazed at him, he hadn`t changed that much since last year, though I had. He had grown a bit but other than that, he'd stayed roughly the same. He looked so much like dad, as much as I did of Mum. He`d gotten quite a surprise when he'd came back from a holiday with friends and found me permanently living with mum again. He didn`t know the real reason behind why I was here, I'd made sure that only Mum knew, by the time he came back, all the bruises from Sebastian had healed on both my face and arms. He just thought that missed New York and them. He soon felt my gaze on his back, turning around, he looked confused for a second before realising it was me not Jocelyn. He frowned though when he saw Izzy, confused once again. He started running towards us. Stooping only about 1 meter away before hugging me tightly.

"Can`t... Breathe...Jon, Get off me." I gasped, he let go of me.

"Good to see you to sis." He let go of me "I guess you made it alive to school then, sorry for making you walk by the way." He said, unapologetically. I'm guessing that you already met my girlfriend Izzy then?" He added kissing her.

"Yeah, she`s my 'tour guide/buddy'." I replied.

"That`s good, hope you guys don`t hate each other already?" He asked warily.

"Nah, she`s like a little sister to me already. " Izzy interjected.

"That`s great." He said smiling.

"What's great?" a new voice asked. I looked behind Jon to see a 2 boys, they looked both alike yet totally unalike. The first one looked just like Izzy, but a more shy version. He had raven black hair just like her, but unlike Izzy`s dark brown, nearly black eyes, he had piercing blue ones, which stood out against his pale skin. The second one though, seemed the total opposite. He was all golden, literally. with golden hair and skin, which was sun kissed and smooth. I had to stop my jaw from dropping. As though they were both so different, they shared one similarity, and that was by both being breathtakingly beautiful. The golden one seemed to notice me staring, and glanced at me. As our eyes locked, I almost gasped, his eyes were golden too, not a dull brown type, but a bright, melting gold. he looked surprised with me, though I didn`t know why.

"Oh Jace, didn`t hear you. " Jon said as he turned around to look at the golden one. As soon as Jace broke gazes with me, I felt as if the spell was broken and I was able to breathe again. I hoped I wasn`t blushing.

"Who`s this?" The black haired boy asked.

"Oh, Alec, Jace, let me introduce you to my sister Clary." He said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Where did you come from then?" Jace asked me curiously, locking eyes with me once again.

"L.A" Izzy answered for me.

"Really, what`s it like there?" Alec asked.

"Hot, sunny, Beautiful-"

"And nothing like here, " Jon cut in ", honestly Clare, I don`t know why you ever left there to live here." I didn`t know what to say, I was a rubbish liar, so I kept honest.

"Because I could never do this while I lived there." I replied kicking him in the shin.

"Ow," Jon shouted Jon, rubbing his shin.

"Valid point." Izzy added. I smirked as he started complaining about it bruising.

"Suck it up you big baby." I teased him.

"Oh yeah Clary, as if you`ve ever been bruised miss perfect." My smile faded. I thought of Sebastian suddenly, every time he even touched me, he would leave a dark purple or black bruise. I must of paled considerably as Jace, who seemed to be studying my face looked at me curiously again.

"Clary are you-"

"MORGENSTERN, LIGHTWOOD AND WAYLAND! COME BACK HERE NOW, STOP DAWDLING!" The football coach shouted. Jace seemed to forget about me momentarily as he turned back to Jon and Alec.

"We better go, don`t want him to make us run too many laps. Bye Izzy, Clary." He said, shooting me one final curious look before all three of them ran away. Before Izzy could even say something though, our coach called all the girls over. Informing us that we would be doing laps most lesson, there were a bunch of girls groaning in annoyance. But I didn`t see what was so wrong? I loved running, It gave you time to think. Izzy seemed to think the same as me, as she was the only one jumping in joy.

 **So sorry for not updating yesterday, but it`s only a day late, not 1 month. so, here was the Clace I was waiting to show, next chapter will show it from Jace's POV. Please review, it means so much to me. Also, I hope this chapter is long enough, this is the most I`ve ever written for one chapter btw.**

 **Also I want to say that the reason behind Izzy being unkind or mean to Clary was because I'm trying to relate with what happens with Izzy in the books, with her not really having any friends who were girls so she doesn`t know how to act with Clary. But they will become friends. I also don`t know whether Izzy and Jon will stay together, I do want Sizzy. But I also don`t know who to pair Jon with? Any ideas? If you do please comment in the reviews.**

 **One more thing. I might continue with my original story 'The Lost World'. But should I rewrite it, or just have one more chapter to end it?**

 **Please review.**

 **-Ruby-**

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	4. Chapter 4- Memories

Jace POV;

It was the first day back from summer break and we already had gym. Coach wanted us to start training again before our first game so try outs were straight after school. Both Jon and I wanted to be in the team, and we both wanted to be quarterback, so I had to make sure I made a good impression this year on coach.

We were both warming up when Jon suddenly stopped, he turned around confused for a second before he started running towards two junior girls, no wait was that Izzy and Jon`s mum, I always thought Jocelyn was taller than that? He stopped roughly 1 meter away from them before before hugging her tightly. Wait, that couldn`t be Jocelyn, could it? I'd never seen him hugging his mother, not in public at least.

"What`s happening over there, isn`t that his mum he`s hugging?" Alec asked. Jon released Jocelyn before she pushed him off her.

"And why is Izzy there?" I continued, hoping Alec would give me an excuse to run over there.

"I don`t know, but she looks angry, you don`t think-" He stopped looking shocked for a second.

"Is Izzy pregnant?" I asked him shocked.

"Let`s find out." I knew full well that Izzy wasn`t but, then again, I was curious, and it gave me an excuse to investigate. Alec and I started sprinting towards them, I was faster than him so I got there before him. Being quite I listened for a second. Waiting for the right moment.

"That`s great." Jon said.

"What's great?" I asked. making him jump, I smiled. I felt someone looking at me and looked over Jon`s shoulder to see a petite girl around 5 foot 2 with flaming red/ ginger hair and beautiful porcelain skin. As our eyes locked though, I realised that the most beautiful bit about her though was her bright emerald eyes. I was shocked by how beautiful they were.

"Oh Jace, didn`t hear you. " Jon said as he turned around to look at me. I broke eye contact with her briefly to glance at Jon. when I looked back, she was blushing, all rosy cheeked, it was quite adorable.

"Who`s this?" Alec asked , looking over at her as well.

"Oh, Alec, Jace, let me introduce you to my sister Clary." He said wrapping his arm around her small shoulder, her sister? well that would explain why I mistook her for Jocelyn earlier.

"Where did you come from then?" I asked her, giving me an excuse to lock eyes with her once again.

"L.A" Izzy answered for her.

"Really, what`s it like there?" Alec asked.

"Hot, sunny, Beautiful-"

"And nothing like here, " Jon cut in ", honestly Clare, I don`t know why you ever left there to live here."

"Because I could never do this while I lived there." She replied kicking him in the shin.

"Ow," Jon shouted, rubbing his shin.

"Valid point." Izzy added. I smiled at her as he started complaining about it bruising.

"Suck it up you big baby." She teased him lightly.

"Oh yeah Clary, as if you`ve ever been bruised miss perfect." Her smile faded as she paled suddenly. She seemed to drift slightly in to her own mind and as she came back, she looked slightly worried as I gave her a questioning look.

"Clary are you-" I started to ask.

"MORGENSTERN, LIGHTWOOD AND WAYLAND! COME BACK HERE NOW, STOP DAWDLING!" The football coach shouted. I remembered where I was again, I turned to Jon and Alec.

"We better go, don`t want him to make us run too many laps. Bye Izzy, Clary." I said, shooting her one final curious look before all three of us ran away. I didn`t want to admit to Jon, but I already was interested in her. As we stopped running, I looked over at them again, especially at Clary.

"She`s off limit's Jace." Jon told me sternly.

"I wasn`t even thinking of her" I lied smoothly. "I was just checking that Izzy was ok."

"What do you mean?"

"Is Izzy pregnant Jon" Alec asked.

"No!" Jon almost shouted.

"Shh, keep your voice down, both of you, wouldn`t want rumours spread." I muttered to both of them."Well why did you think that." Jon whispered. Alec and I realised that the excuse wasn`t valid anymore as who we thought was Jocelyn was Clary.

"No reason." I muttered.

"You three, stop gossiping and start running, If I wanted a bunch of girls, I wouldn`t of asked for you lot. Now start doing five laps before-" he cut off looking for something threatening to say.

"We got it coach." I shouted before we started running.

* * *

Clary POV:

After two tiring hours of endless laps and other exercises, we were so sweaty that it was inevitable for the dreaded school shower. there were cubicle`s that had no door's that made me slightly grossed out, I quickly washed and got ready to change. Then a hand gripped my shoulder.

* * *

4 months ago:

Getting out of the shower, I got into my room before the cold from the hallway got to me. I looked in the mirror, every colour of a bruise stained my arms and neck, my wrists were especially black. The word Sebastian was a name I hated. I had tried to break off with Sebastian but he wouldn`t take no as an answer. I had a plan though, as soon as school finished, I was off to New York. I'd been careful not to talk about where Jocelyn and Jon lived though. As I pulled my top and jeans on I felt a hand on my shoulder. Of course he just had to wait for me to get changed until announcing his presence. Sicko. He pulled me back, making me crash into the floor. the wind was knocked out of me.

"Clarissa, I do hope you don`t intend to show your arms to everyone, moreover Valentine, why don`t you put a coat on, it`s a little cold, don`t you think." His icy voice pierced me sharper than anything he could throw at me. I decided to act fine about it, I wouldn`t want to get hurt more.

"Yeah, I was just going to." I said, getting up.

"What, are you not staying here?" I froze, he couldn`t hear about me going to Maia's. He would once again get jealous of Jordan. But then, if I stayed, he would try and get into my bed, he wasn`t even subtle about it now, and me always refusing meant pain for me, last time he nearly suffocated me, my neck was still yellow from the once black bruise, and that was 2 weeks ago. I decided to go out.

"Maia's." I replied shortly. His hand was once again on my arm, squeezing painfully. "Ow, Sebastian please." I whimpered, he ignored me.

"You know what my problem with her is right?"

"Yeah but-"

"So why do you disobey me?"

"I'm not did-"

"Do you not love me?"

I paused for a second before replying "Yes" but it was a second too long.

"Liar!" He roared, His hand left my arm to wrap around my neck tightly. He never hit me in the face, not unless I could conceal it. Because of him, I had to wear turtle necks and long sleeves all the time. The force of his hands caused my windpipe to not get any air. I saw black dots around my vision. Then I fainted.

* * *

Present day.

I turned round quickly, pushing him away from me. I backed into the corner and squeezed into a ball. Tears cascaded down my face. Memories I had tried to bury resurfaced quickly. He was here, I saw his black hair and slim, tall body in my blurred vision. Quietly begging him to not hit me, I looked up at him. But it wasn't him there. Instead stood a very shocked looking Izzy. Her mouth gaped wide open at me. I stood up. frantically searching to see if anyone else noticed. everyone else seemed to still be in the showers.

"Clary, who did this to you?" Izzy asked shocked.

Crap.

 **Hey, I decided to leave it here. Next chapter will be in Izzy`s POV.**

 **Please review.**

 **-Ruby-**

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	5. Chapter 5- Dilemmas and diets

Izzy's POV;

Clary rushed out the showers, damn, she washed fast, or maybe she forgot something. I quickly washed and wrapped a towel around me. everyone else seemed to like the water temperature today as no-ne else had got out. By the time I got to Clary she was getting her clothes out, ready to change. Maybe she needed deodorant. I put my hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Then everything happened at once:

Clary turned like lightning, pushing me away from her, what happened? She was now in the corner, scrunched up in a ball.

"S-seb-sebastian pl-please, d-don`t h-h-hurt me." She spoke between desperate sobs. Her hands unknowingly grasping for something on the floor. She looked scared silly. When she looked up though, she looked shocked to see me. I then realised that my mouth was open in shock, closing it, she shakily got up, sniffing quietly. The fear was replaced by a new type, to me.

"Clary, who did this to you?" I asked her shocked. It took her a second before she breathed out.

"I'm sorry Izzy, you weren`t meant to see that, you just reminded me of a bully at my school, he was a nightmare. Teased me all the time." She explained.

"Does Jon kn-"

"No, it`s all in the past, he doesn`t need to know about him."

"Clary, are you sure you`re alright? That`s not how someone reacts to a bully who teased them, you just practically begged him to not hurt you."

"So? Gosh Issabelle, you barely know me. how would you know how I react to stuff?!"I then realised where my place was, She was right, I hadn`t even properly known her yet I was already prying into her business. I just knew that Jon wanted me and her to be friends, I also wanted to be her friend too.

"Sorry I didn`t mean to pry-"

"Well you did. Now let`s just forget it okay and get changed." I remembered that we were both only in towels. We silently got changed once again. She was breathing heavily, calming herself. Silence hung in the air as thick as Clary's hair. But we didn`t have to suffer long though, as some loud girls came out of the showers, shouting lyrics to songs, still, it was preferable to the awkward silence between us.

* * *

Clary's POV;

I was thankful to the months of quick thinking excuses, otherwise, I would of sounded more unbelievable to Izzy, but I just hoped she didn`t tell Jon. I felt bad at shouting at her, but if I didn`t do that, she wouldn`t stop. She was being silent, guilty I suspected.

We got to the lunch queue quickly. We goy both our lunches, though hers didn`t really count as one. It was an apple and some salad. While I had pizza and chips.

"You`re not getting any salad Clary?" She questioned.

"No, why?"

"No reason." She replied quickly, looking at my pizza critically.

"Do you want some of my pizza." I asked her.

"No thanks, I'm on a diet." She answered. Great, the one person I`d even slightly befriended was one of those ' I'm on a diet even though I already look stunning'. Izzy led me on to a table which was probably known as the 'popular' table. There sat two other girls who both had salad, though they were both untouched. There was also Jon, Alec, Magnus and the golden boy, Jace. I sat down and started to tuck into my pizza.

"hmm, god, I've missed New York style pizza. It`s just not the same in L.A." I dreamily said, looking at Jon. He`d once tried the 'New York' style pizza over there. it didn't even last 3 seconds in his mouth until he was spitting it out. He uncontrollably shivered as my smirk grew wider.

"Finally, a girl is actually eating real food on this table." Jace groaned loudly, I blushed slightly at that, while he caught my eye and winked at me, making me even more scarlet. I saw in the corner of my eye Jon shooting him a warning glance. He ignored it though. The two other girls both tried to grab Jace`s attention though. The first one, who was a died red and looked like she was head cheerleader, picked up a slice of pepper and nibbled on the end. While the other, who was an icy blond, took a bite out of a carrot slice. The ice blond had fake curled hair that was put into a bun. With the colour and shape of her hair, and her pale-ish skin, she looked a bit like a sheep. she probably was one too. And I guessed that the died redhead, was the shepherd.

Two other girls joined our table. They introduced themselves as Aline and Helen. They were the only other girls who had brought any real food. I smiled at them.

* * *

Magnus soon took me to art. where we started a project on emotions. The teacher explained that in partners, we would be graded on six different art pieces. all representing different emotions. Magnus and I discussed what we wanted and soon enough the bell rang again and I was once again in homeroom. Izzy was once again on her phone. and too soon. The final bell rang, meaning I could go home. Football Try-outs were today so instead of waiting for Jon, I instead walked home.

 **A.N: I don`t know whether everyone knows what I mean by sheep. but it`s really big in my school. Basically, someone who is a sheep follows round someone else and copies what they do or have the same opinions on something. And the shepherd is the person they follow. I'm sorry that the chapter is a bit short but I was in the middle of writing a discussion between Clary and Magnus before I decided to wait till later. otherwise it looked as if she was prying too much into other peoples business. So I'm saving it for a later chapter. Thank you to all the people who`ve reviewed so far and please keep reviewing. I will have the next update on Tuesday.**

 **-Ruby-**

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	6. Chapter 6- After training

As soon as I got home, I ran straight up the stairs, avoiding Jocelyn, who was bursting with curiosity and into my bedroom. I dived into the warm duvet of my bed and getting my phone out, I started going through my playlist, until I found the song that was loud enough for me not to go to sleep. Lately, whenever I went to sleep, it was of him.

Jace POV:

Football try outs had to be the hardest, It seemed that coach had really upped his expectations over summer break. Still, I hoped that I was good enough. Jon seemed to be doing great, and that was what was worrying me. We were both vouching on our football skills to get us into a free collage tuition.

After an hour of torture, we were finished, we went into the locker rooms, changing back into our clothes.

"Hey, are you still coming round mine ?" Jon asked as he put his top on.

"Yeah, my place is empty of food anyway" I said.

"Liar."

"Hey, you know that fruit, veg and anything else like that doesn`t count as food to me, besides, I haven`t seen Jocelyn in ages. "

"Ok, just don`t try hitting on my sister."

"I'm wounded that you think that of me." I said, pulling a very wounded look. He ignored me. Still, I didn`t promise anything to him.

As we walked outside, we were greeted by Izzy, looking annoyed.

"Jon, I`ve been waiting for ages, the cheerleaders try outs were moved to next week so I had no one to talk to for about an hour." She whined.

"Then why didn`t you just walk home ?" I replied. She pointed to her heels. Oh.

"Hey you should get Clary into it, she was in a team back in L.A."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she was always being thrown into the air cos of how freakishly light she is, well that`s what she tells me anyway."

"That`s great, we haven`t got anyone light enough for the role right now so they`ll let her in with open arms." We then got into Jon`s car. Izzy got dropped off, deciding to ask Clary tomorrow instead of now, was she nervous? I`d hardly seen the talk after lunch.

Clary Pov:

I heard the door slamming loudly. Was mum back again, she`d just left for work.

"Mum?!" Jon shouted. "Jace is round, you don`t mind him having dinner here?"

"Mum`s out Jon, there was an emergency at the hospital!" I shouted back. Deciding to get out of my room, I quietly tip toed down the stairs and snuck up on Jon, snatching the controller out of his hand.

"Hey!" he shouted as I started to flick through the music channels.

"Go raid the fridge Jon, the TV`s mine." I replied , jumping onto the sofa. He muttered to himself before retreating into the kitchen.

* * *

"Clary, are you making dinner for us?" Jon started whining an hour later.

"Only if you give me a good reason."

"Ok, if you don`t make it, I`ll keep on complaining."

"Ugh, why don`t you just invite Izzy around and get _her_ to make a dinner for you? I`ll call her if you give me her number." The chatter next door went silent. Jace and Jon ran in, snatching my phone out of my hand.

"No Clary, just no.-" Jace started

"Do you want us dead?"

"-What did we do to make you hate us that much." Jace finished.

"What`s so wrong with her cooking?" I asked.

"Only that I was once sick for 2 weeks solid after trying a soup of hers." Jace shuddered.

"Fine, but give me my phone, I`ll just order pizza." I said. As they warily gave me my phone back, I dialled domino`s number and ordered 3 of my favourite pizza`s.

20 minutes later, we were sitting around the table, opening the lid`s. We each had a third of each pizza and we were eaten in less than 5 minutes. Once we were finished, Jace jumped up.

"Hey, why don`t we watch a horror film?" He asked. Jon looked at me, nodding at him, he turned to Jace.

"Yeah, why not." Jace smiled before running to the TV and turning on Netflix.

"Ok, we could watch Hush-"

"Watched it." I stated.

"Ok, what about Insidious 2 then?" He said, looking at me.

"Yeah sure, I've seen the first one anyway."

"Ok, Insidious 2 it is."

 **Sorry for the short chapter, I just wasn`t in the mood for writing, it`s the holiday`s for me and normally I`m really lazy when it comes to writing, anyway review?**

 **-Ruby-**

 **|-/**


	7. Chapter 7-Sleep

So there we were, all cosy on the sofa, watching a chilling horror film. my homework lied upstairs, forgotten and unfinished, unlike the popcorn bowl, which had been eaten in the first 3 minutes. Jon sat in-between me and Jace, acting like a barrier, I knew he was doing it so we couldn`t get any closer during the film. but its not like that would of happened anyway, the last time I got close to one, I was left with constant pain and bruises to mark me as his.

Halfway through the film, I fell asleep. I don`t know whether it was because of how dark the film was or because of the low volume, but too soon I was placed in my own idea of a horror film.

3 months ago-

My numb fingers let the cold keys slip through them as I quickly got them out. I could feel him running after me, He was 20 meters away now, running faster and faster, I picked them up, 15 meters, slid it into the lock, 10 meters, pushing it open,5 meters, I slammed it shut.

The door creaked loudly as Sebastian crashed into it. his every hit towards it sent loud echoing sounds into the otherwise silent hallway, it reminded me of my heart as the thuds started to get faster and louder. The it went silent, the final thump echoing. My breathing was hushed, what was he doing? He never gave up. The windows! most of them were locked except my one, which I used as an escape hatch just in case he chased me and I forgot my keys. I rushed upstairs, running to my room, crashing into it, I slammed into it and quickly locked it. But he wasn`t there. That somehow made me even more frightened, where was he, if he hadn`t entered through my window, what was he planning to do. As my shallow breaths started turning into slight hyperventilation, I heard the lock sliding on the front door.

I rushed to the top of the stairs, Dad was home, I started walking down eagerly before stopping, as the door opened, it revealed Sebastian, with a set of the spare keys in his hands, how did he find them, Valentine had hid them from me ages ago to make sure that I never gave them to him. But there he held them, with a supremely smug expression on his face.

"Now Clarissa, I don`t think it`s very kind of you to run away from me when I call your name in the street." He scolded me, seeing my frightened expression he continued, smiling more widely, showing his white sharp teeth, shark like. "Oh, yes, how did I find these exactly I guess you're wondering, well let`s just say that your daddy is kind of predictable in where he hides things." he barked out a laugh. He started to walk towards me, like a predator approaching its prey, I ran to my room, a sense of Déjà-vu, over these past few months, this was the routine we`d do over and over again, I would mess up somehow, he would get mad, he would chase me, I would run up to my room, and he would somehow either catch me or get inside the room too. then that`s where he would beat me up, my arms and leg were almost all black and purple, from a few days ago. I somehow hid all the bruises in P.E mainly because I wore long sleeves and jogging bottoms.

I only got to the door this time before his body barged into mine, nocking me onto the ground, he hen started shaking me, at some point, I had started screaming at him, he preferred to hear me scream, he stopped hitting me sooner if I screamed in pain. My arms burned where he touched me, my purple arms going a darker shade already. He carried on shaking me shouting my name.

"Clary!" someone else shouted, was that Jace?

Present day-

"Clary wake up!" Jace shouted, it was a dream, just a dream. This was also the second time I did this, only this time, I couldn`t blame it on a bully like Izzy, this was too hard to lie about, but it didn`t stop me trying.

"Oh Jace, it was just a stupid nightmare." My voice was croaky, raw from screaming, how long had I been screaming for?

"Clary, what`s wrong, Jon went out for one second then you start screaming."

"Oh, well it was just a silly nightmare about the film."

"Who`s Sebastian?" I couldn`t help but flinch to his name. He saw as the fear filled up slightly in my eyes.

"I have no-"

"Really, seems like you know him. with you screaming ' no, Sebastian please stop, stop hitting me please, I promise to never run from you, I love you, please, Stop' Now answer me who Sebastian is?" he looked at me, rage filling his body, was it directed at me? I suddenly realised that it was just me and him in the room, Jon was somewhere else, what if he started hitting me to get the truth out for Jon? I started sobbing uncontrollably, the fear unbottled and filling my every sense, his eyes softened, as he started to slowly come towards me. I flinched as his hand came near my face. he looked at me wounded. before sitting opposite me once again. for some reason, I was on the floor. I was too scared to speak, so all I could do was let myself keep crying. There was no point in stopping my crying, it needed to be let out at some point. He sat silently and patiently before I eventually quietened down before he asked.

"Who abused you?"

 **Déjà** **vu much? I know it sounds a bit like one of the other chapters but I haven`t really planned any of these chapters, well does it count if I plan it in my head? Any way, so sorry for not updating in ages but, all I got to say is new phone.**

 **please review**

 **-Ruby- |-/**


	8. Chapter 8

"I really don't know how to start, its a long story."

"Just start by tellinge who he is."

"Well as you know, his name was Sebastian, he was a junior at high school when I met him." I deflated slightly, remembering how we met.

"Go on." He pushed on,

" well I had just started on the cheer leading team, and he was the football. We were always bumping into each other so it wasn't long before we started to get close," he stayed silent, so I continued on," as we got closer to each other, he started telling me more about his ghost of a mother and alcoholic of a father, and how he was forced to live with his american aunt. Which was hard for him as when he was ten, he had to move all the way from Paris, France to L.A. I became even more caring towards him when he told me how his father was also abusive towards both him and his mother. I'd known him for what felt like forever when we finally started dating, but it was only for 4 months, 2 of which we has started properly started getting to know one another."

"It was Christmas day when we officially started dating. He said that it was the best present anyone could give him. So for the first month, it was all fun and games, we constantly went on dates, going round each others houses, and over all being a normal couple." I smiled at those memories. Then it faded.

"Well that was until a month later, January 25th. " I looked Have in the eye, preparing him for what was to come next.

"The day started off weird, he didn't talk to me and ignored all my calls. That night I went round his house to figure out what was wrong. He claimed that I was cheating on him, and that I didn't care about him. I tried convincing him until he came to the conclusion that the only way he would believe me was if I slept with him, of course I didn't want to, so we ended up having a full blown argument, until he hit me. He hit me so hard that the force knocked me to the ground, he then decided that he might as well force me into sleeping with him, I as so scared, we were home alone, though luckily he didn't get that far before his aunt unexpectedly returned home. I used my chance to leave then. My cheek was red from these slap he'd given me so I had to wear tons of concealer just to make it look unoticiable."

" After that night, he changed, he started to become easily jealous and convinced that I was cheating on him. So he started hitting me more frequently too. He was smart when it came to making sure no one noticed. He always isolated sure I didn't talk to anyone else for too long. He also only hit me where I could hide them, my arms and stomach area was the targeted areas, but he didn't always stop himself from wrapping his hand around my neck-"

"Clary, you don't have to continue, I get it, that sick bastard wanted you in pain, just don't carry on, youve clearly had enough yourself." I was puzzled for a second until I realized that tears were silently cascadind down my face. I couldn't stop them though , so I gave up.

Have pulled me onto his lap and hugged me tightly to his chest, he patted my back as the tears kept rolling down.

"Where is Jon?"

"He went out to Izzy's for a while."

"You won't tell him, will you?"

He sighed, calculating for a second. "Nah, its you're job to tell him, but you should. Its better for him to find out by you instead of by mistake. And with those words, I'll be leaving" he got up and kissed my for head before leaving.

Once he left, I couldn't help but think of how Sebastian was before he changed. Of only he'd stayed as the sweet boy I loved and not the one I hated.

 **sorry for any errors, I wrote this chapter on my phone, please review.**

 **P.s this s a place fanfic**


	9. Chapter 9- 1 week later

It had been been a week since I'd told Jace. And since then, he`d been acting slightly more protectively over me, giving death glares to any boy who came near me. I could see Jon looking suspiciously at this, but since Jace punched some creepy senior who started trying to flirt with me, he'd stopped caring as much.

It was lunch time now, over the course of a week, I`d already grown close to most of Jon's friends, who were a mix of both juniors and seniors. Helen, Izzy and I were the juniors whilst Jon, Jace, Alec, Magnus, Alec, Seelie and Kaelie were the seniors. I`d grown particularly close with both Magnus and Izzy.

Over the week though, I'd gotten I bit of a vibe that some of the people were mainly here because of their crushes. It was kinda obvious with Magnus and Alec. With the way Alec kept blushing whenever Magnus started talking to him and how Magnus went out of his way to talk to him. But Helen and Aline took a longer time for me to notice. They were more subtle about it. I wondered whether they were all oblivious to the fact that they liked each other.

The bell rang soon. Magnus towed me away to the art room. I sat down next to him as usual. For the first 10 minutes, He gossiped to me about the people on our table, well mainly about Jon. Though he said nothing negative to me about anyone. Even the ones who he clearly didn`t like *cough cough* Seelie an Kaelie. then he took me by surprise.

"So Clary, what was it like for you in your old school?"

"Um, well at my old school, I only had 2 real friends, the rest were self absorbed cheerleaders." I started "I was on the cheerleading team because I was the lightest in the year who wasn`t scared of heights."

"Did you have a boyfriend there?" Crap, again with the prying questions.

"Why, did Jon want to know."

"No." He told me honestly.

"Well I`d rather not talk about it. What about you? Have you got one?" I questioned him back. he blushed slightly at that.

"No. I`m not interested in anyone like that."

"Not anyone?"

"Nope." He lied.

I decided to push myself further." Even Alec?" He stopped to look at me. "Because just in case you`re interested, I think he likes you too."

He looked up from his art work, his face the more serious than I've ever seen. "Do you really think so?"

"Yeah, you and Alec The sooner you guys go out the better."

"Ill ask him only if you tell me what's going on between you and Jace."

"Urgh, nothing, why are you asking?"

"Because I've never seen him act so protective over anyone like that before." he answered


	10. Chapter 10- The bookshop

It was after school now and Izzy and I were walking through a quiet street of shops, it was either that or waiting an hour until Jon was able to give us a lift. it was hard trying to keep up with her long strides so I soon refused to walk any longer without having a quick break. We slipped into a nearby coffee shop to just rest a while when I noticed thy at it seemed to a book shop as well.

"Izzy, you don't mind ordering some drinks while I look in the book section for a while, do you?" I said, slightly gravitating towards it.

"Yeah sure, just don't take too long, I don't want to look like a complete loner here." she replied, taking full advantage of the fact that there was free Wi-Fi in there. I walked into it, savouring the familiar smell of books. My old home was filled with them. My vision blurred slightly at the fact that there were barely any books at my new home. Jocelyn preferred to paint and Jon never really took to reading, there were only the few that I`d brought with me to here. I walked over to the section that read manga. God, I loved these books. I started looking for one of the series that I hadn't already read when a crash came from behind me.

A tall, geeky looking boy was sprawled on the ground, all the books around him knocked over, making a huge mess. He awkwardly got up to flush a scarlet colour when he realised that I had seen. ducking his head in shame, he went to pick up the books. I felt a flash of pity towards him so I decided to help him.

"You didn't see what happened did you?" He asked me nervously.

"only the aftermath." I laughed lightly.

"oh, phew, I hate embarrassing myself like that in front of strangers like that"

"what`s your name then? I'm clary." I extended my hand. he warily shook it.

"Simon." he said almost uncertainly.

"nice to meet you then Simon, we`re not strangers anymore."

" Yeah I guess so, so what brings you here, to this almost empty bookshop." He smiled at me. I had a sense that he hadn't seen a girl here since, probably ever.

"Well I really just came here for a drink with my friend but I saw this part so I wanted to see what there was."

Simon turned around to look at Izzy, who had now turned to filing her nails as she impatiently waited for her coffee, when he turned back, he face was bright red, almost as red as my hair.

"Umm, did you say that you were friends with her?"

"Yeah, not for long."

"Her, you mean her as in Issabelle lightwood"?

I was slightly creeped out by that comment."Um yeah, how do you know that?"

"Umm, she's in my maths class at school."

"Oh, so you go to the same school as us?"

"I guess so, but ive never seen you there before?"

"Well I only joined last week."

"Oh that explains it, I'm normally really good with faces, so what brings you here to the big apple?" his Brooklyn accent was quite distinct at this moment. Unlike Izzy, who had more of an English one, due to living there up until the age of 14. Then her parents moved both her and Alec to here for a big job for the company they worked for, the Clave.

"Missed my brother. " My reply was short and sweet. It was partially the truth, so it lessened the guilt as I stared in his wide, almost childlike and sweet eyes.

"really, he`s lucky to have such a nice sister. Mine wouldn't care less if I moved across half the world."

"Well he`s lucky full stop, you just have to look at his girlfriend over there to see it." I joked as I nodded my head towards Izzy. the remaining flush left in his cheeks drained and left him looking like a vampire.

"your brother is dating Issabelle."

"Yes but-"

"Your brother is Jonathon Morgenstern?"

"Um, I`m sorry but I have to go now. Er Bye ." He ran out of the shop, looking panicked.

"Clary, our drinks are here." Izzy called, her nails were now filed and her phone was out again. "Jon will be able to pick us up by the way, if we stay here "

"Okay, I guess we`ll wait then."

 **Hi, I`m back. I`m so sorry for not updating in ages. I`m just trying to fill my life with reading rn. But I`ll start trying to update every Tuesday, also, little side note. It`s my birthday on the 18th so, idk. Please review thanks**

 **-Ruby |-/**


	11. Chapter 11- sleepovers and smiles

**wow, I didn't really expect that amount of reviews. I'm currently on holiday but I'm writing this for you guys so here it is, enjoy!**

Placing her very expensive phone down on the table, Izzy looked up at me with calculating eyes.

"So, when do you want the sleepover the be?"

"Well-"

"Jon told me that you weren't doing anything this weekend. " she butted in, a smile was growing on her face as I realized there was no escaping it. "So when do you want it, Friday or Saturday?"

"Uh-"

"You're right, Friday it Is, Cheerleading tryouts have been moved once again to this Friday, I know what we could do!" She butted in once again. Her once black looking eyes were now bright with excitement. I'm guessing that it wasn't a coincidence that cheerleading tryouts just happened to be the day that I had to go to her sleepover. Jon had been warning me for awhile now that Izzy had made it her mission to get me on the team.I was surprised how I hadn't seen it coming.

"Does it involve me and you going to the tryouts then the sleepover?" I asked, for once not getting cut short of my speech. I took a sip of my now cold coffee, spitting it out I fished my Bottle of water out of my bag,hopefully to wash away the taste.

"no!"

"Reall-?"I started to ask before she butted in again.

"You and I are going to tryouts, not you and me, that's grammatically incorrect Clary. Also we are not just having a sleepover, we're going clubbing as well." She burst out laughing at the look on my face.

"But-"

"Clary, Izzy come on it's pouring!" Jace moaned, soaking wet and standing by the open door of The coffee, cutting mine and Izzy's conversation short. Izzy had a smug grin plastered on her face as she heard my sigh of defeat. though it was soon swept off of her face when she saw how heavy the rain was, covering her hair, she ran outside into the rain and clambered into Jon's car somehow gracefully, leaving jace and I. Jace smirked at me as the same expression of fear crossed my face.

"what's wrong red? don't you like getting a little wet?" his eyes made it clear of the double meaning. I blushed scarlet and his grin widened. In response I poured some of my water over him that I held in my hand, a shocked gasp escaped his lips before he could stop it.

"What's wrong Jace? don't you like how wet I made you? I laughed before running to Jon's car. Sliding into the back seat with Izzy, Jace slid into the front a second later, hiding his slight bush and smile. Well at least I won one victory.

* * *

Friday- before tryouts

"So, are you exited for tonight?" Izzy asked, We were both sitting in homeroom now, the week had passed so quickly, my gaze wondered to the corner of the room where I saw Simon sitting, I had tried many times throughout the week to talk to him, but he'd so far avoided me. My gaze drifted back to Izzy, who was still waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, it's not like I've never been to a sleepover before" I was telling a partial truth I guess, the only sleepovers I'd ever had was when I accidentally fell asleep at Maia's. There it was again, the painful pang in my heart. I had both missed Maia and Jordan so much since moving, along with my dad. They were the only people I card about back in LA.

Izzy started talking excitedly for her plans for tonight, it wasn't long before homeroom had ended and we were in the changing rooms, getting ready for the tryouts. Izzy was confident enough that we'd both get in, seeing as I was the only girl who seemed fit for getting thrown into the air,and she had been taking classes since she was a child,also she was on last years team. I wasn't as bothered though.

We did a basic warm up which had somehow left somehow left some of the girls really out of breath. Seelie, the cheerleading captain of both last year and this year, paled as she realized how little choice of girls she already had. I felt a slight wave of sympathy then for her.

By the way she looked both at Izzy and I confirmed Izzy's guess that we were both already on the team. I had to admit, kaelie was quite good, nothing compared to both Helen and a girl named Emma I think. It looked like the team was looking better already.

As soon as tryouts ended Izzy dragged me from the gym straight to a shiny red expensive looking car, behind the wheel was none other than magnus, he'd somehow gotten glitter over all of the inside and outside of car.

"Hello my strawberry shortcake, Isabelle my dear get in, let me put some of this delightful glitter on you both, it's freshly bought!" He exclaimed excitedly. How could he always stay this happy, he lit the whole room up, without the help of his glitter. I could see what made Alec so head over heels for him.

We drove to Izzy's with the speakers blasting with Panic! At The Disco. Magnus was singing along just as loud whilst Izzy shouted the wrong lyrics. I couldn't stop laughing at her interpretation of the words.

Magnus parked his car in the Lightwood's garage very quickly, and cutting off Izzy's sing in with his hand, we quietly clambered out of his car, both Izzy an I had inevitably gotten glitter on us, they were my only pair of jeans that weren't paint splattered, at least glitter washed off of clothes easily, at least I hoped, I wouldn't put it past Magnus to make the glitter stick onto everything.

The Lightwood's house was incredibly grand and pish looking, quite a few portraits hung of the Family. I stood shocked at the door leading from the garage whilst both Magnus and Izzy proceeded to the massive staircase. I followed them scared of getting lost here.

At the top of the stairs magnus started skipping towards the room Labelled 'Alec's room' whilst Izzy showed me to her soon as I walked into it, I was shocked to see that clothes and makeup seemed to cover ever surface of the room, including most of the queen sized bed,That's sheets were a bright red, they matched with the ruby necklace she always wore.

"you should really invest in a wardrobe." I laughed nervously, overwhelmed by the amount of mess that surrounded me.

"It's full" Izzy laughed, opening a massive door to show me how the room was completely full. " Anyway, its time to get ready!" She clapped her hands excitedly.

"Ready for what?" I asked, slightly dazed.

"Ready to go clubbing silly." She laughed again.

 **I know I know,its been far to long, I've got no excuses. I did however write all this on my phone for many hours now, and its a real pain in the ass to write it on my phone, so hopefully I've put in enough effort for you guys. I've been listening to Panic! At The Disco for the past few hours to keep me awake. Please review, the next chapter will be by next Sunday at the latest. That's when I get back from holiday. Pleas excuse any grammatical errors, I'm too tired to proof read it. Again please review**

 **-Ruby |-/**


	12. Chapter 12- healings and heartbreaks

**A month late, sorry, but at least I now have a computer to write this on, I hate writing on my phone.**

The next morning,

The curtains that covered Izzy's windows barely concealed the light that wanted to stream into her room. My head hurt so much, so this is what its like to have a hangover. I never drunk enough before to get a hangover. Squinting my eyes, I got up and stumbled towards her door, hoping to find some coffee, and hopefully some sunglasses. I was changed out of my dress (well it was really just one of Izzy's tops, but when on me, it looked like a very small dress, coming to rest above the middle of my thigh ) I was now changed into one of my baggy shirts and some leggings, I didn't recall changing into them. I didn't remember anything of last night-

"oomph-" I wasn't concentrating enough on where I was going as I seemed to walk into a wall. I would of fell rather ungraciously if it wasn't for two strong hands wrapping round my arms and keeping me steady,

"whoa, watch where you're going red" a familiar voice murmured, coming close to my ear before standing up straight. Jace towered over me so easily. I had to slightly crane my neck just to see his ever so famous smirk. my heart almost melted, what happened to the promise to myself? I'd sworn not to get involved with and boys from now on, even the golden god type. I stepped away from him, the loss of his body heat causing me to shiver. I saw a slight flash of hurt in his eyes, his smirk faltering for a second. but he regained quickly, asking "so where are you going?"

his voice was loud enough to sharpen the painful headache of my hangover, I winced breathing out "please be quieter, my head is killing me." he then seemed to smell the slight stench of alcohol coming from me.

"I know just the thing to help you with that." he murmured to what seemed like himself, but then grabbing my hand, he took me down the hallway, passing by Alec`s room, where there seemed to be a trail of glitter that travelled into it, and down the stairs. Jace stopped to throw me my shoes whilst putting his on.

"wait, where are we going?" I asked him, confused.

"oh, just out to the garden" he said, his infamous smirk lighting his face and twisting his eyes into a more mischievous look. we then walked out into a massive and very neat looking garden. the lawn was flat and the grass an emerald green, the whole garden was surrounded by old looking trees, I wondered how long since they had been planted. Jace had let me to the end of the garden by now, and into a well sheltered greenhouse.

Inside the greenhouse, there were all the colours that could possibly be imagined, each plant looking more exotic than the last. I could get lost in all the colours here, my hands were itching to sketch and paint every one of them. I didn't even care why we were here, all I knew was that I wanted to be here forever. this was already my favourite place, even though I had only been in here for over ten seconds.

Jace disappeared and reappeared whilst I was still trying to find my voice. he bent down for a second before getting up again with a hot cup of water, he then went over to a nearby plant, its leaves were the shade of hunter green, its leaves turning a sunlight yellow at the edges. and put it into the cup. turning the water a translucent shade of emerald.

"drink" he ordered, pushing the cup into my hand. " it'll make you feel better. " I drunk hesitantly at first, the water was still quite hot, burning my tongue and throat as I swallowed it. but my headache was already starting to subside. the hangover already fading from my mind.

"better than coffee huh." He had a knowing smirk, I wondered how many times he`d used this to stop his hangover from getting to him.

"Yeah, how did you find it out?"

"My father used to teach me all about herbs and natural remedies, this secret has been in my family for generations." he told me, smirking slightly at old memories.

"and where's your father now?" I asked, wondering why he was here so early in the morning, he didn't go out last night with us.

"Somewhere in Europe, ever since my mum died, he's become a total workaholic, that's why I`m here right now. every time my father leaves for a business trip, I stay with the lightwood's, sometimes for months on end." his smile was gone. now he looked slightly lost, in memories or thoughts, I didn't know.

"oh well I'm sorry for your loss." I said, not knowing what to say.

"well I don't really remember my mum that much, she died when I was 8. but my dad`s coming back soon. though he`ll probably just be waiting for the next trip again, he only ever stays for a few weeks here. " his tone turned bitter towards the end.

"my dad threw himself into work too, when he and my mum separated. he used to leave me alone almost all the time, he barely saw me. it took him months to realise what was happening to me, what Seb was doing to me. but even then, only slightly. I knew he cared for me, but he cared more for his work." I finished, my memories dragging me into the depths of my mind, images hitting me likes waves, drowning me in them.

Suddenly the feeling of Jace`s lips pressed urgently against mine broke me through my haze, like a lifeboat saving me from drowning in a stormy ocean. He kissed me desperately, and I kissed him back, both of us were hungry for some type of comfort, needing to know that someone understood us. and we did, our searching lips found what we needed, what we craved. Each other.

We eventually broke from each other for air, gasping loudly. I`d never been kissed like that before. hell, I`d never Kissed like that before. but then again, I`d only ever kissed Sebastian before. and they felt wrong, as if I was taking a leap into darkness, scared to never get out.

Kissing Jace felt so right though, like I was floating rather than falling. looking at him, I knew he felt the same. Neither of us knew what to say though, it was wrong, what we did, we shouldn't of done it, like biting into a candy apple that you knew was poison. the temptation would always be there, nagging at you, but it didn't mean you could give into it. I knew it was a bad thing I just did. last time I gave my heart away in a kiss, it was given back to me, bruised and almost broken. Sebastian almost destroyed me. I wouldn't let Jace do the same. So all I said was;

"Take me back to the house."

 **oooh, I know, it's been more than a month since I last updated. I started writing this almost a month ago, but I never got up to finishing it. school has started for me and let me tell you, it has got significantly harder. the year of GCSE`s has finally come upon me, regardless of me feeling fully ready for it (which I'm not btw.) I will try to update as soon as possible, maybe in a weeks time? just remember, reviews make me work harder. ;)**

 **Also I really need a beta reader, does anyone want to do that for me?**

 **please review**

 **-Ruby l-/**


	13. Chapter 13- Aline

**A month or so late, I know, but only getting one review made me lack motivation, still enjoy :)**

Previously:

 _Kissing Jace felt so right though, like I was floating rather than falling. looking at him, I knew he felt the same. Neither of us knew what to say though, it was wrong, what we did, we shouldn't of done it, like biting into a candy apple that you knew was poison. the temptation would always be there, nagging at you, but it didn't mean you could give into it. I knew it was a bad thing I just did. last time I gave my heart away in a kiss, it was given back to me, bruised and almost broken. Sebastian almost destroyed me. I wouldn't let Jace do the same. So all I said was;_

 _"Take me back to the house."_

CPOV;

Jace took me back towards the lightwood house, neither of us saying anything, as soon as we were both in the house, Jace left, silent all the time. I had to admit, I felt bad. Was I leading him on? I shouldn`t be feeling bad though, I did it for both of us, I didn't want to be hurt again, but I was already too hurt for Jace, he was too good for me. I decided to leave around now, I knew that if I saw Jace again that I would either kiss him again, or cry. Neither were good.

"Ouch" I bumped into someone again, why does it keep happening to me? I looked up to see an upset looking Aline. her eyes were puffy and had streaks of mascara surrounding them. She looked almost as broken as I felt.

"Aline, I know it`s none of my business, but are you okay?" The words left my mouth before I had realised what I had said, my voice was weak and sad sounding, showing how I felt myself.

"Can we go somewhere first, I`m so confused-" Aline broke off sobbing.

"Sure" I replied before grabbing my coat and leaving with Aline. We both walked for a minute, silence surrounding like a bubble ready to burst. "So..."I started, the silence was starting to creep me out a little, Aline laughed awkwardly before wiping away a stray tear. "What are you confused about?" Pushing her answer out. I just wanted to talk.

"About what to do, about me, everything" Aline let out, her voice sounding truly defeated.

"We can talk about things over coffee?" I offered. "There's a really nice quiet coffee shop a block down from here, Izzy and I found it last week. " I gave her an encouraging smile.

"Coffee would be nice." Aline smiled sadly, we dropped into silence again until we were in the shop, I brought the bought coffee towards the small table where Aline sat. Sitting down myself now, opposite her, Aline accepted her coffee before starting.

"Have you ever experienced the pain of unrequited love Clary?" Aline looked up from her coffee, which was black, just like my own cup.

"Doesn`t everyone?" I asked back, remembering my old 9th grade crush, that was obviously before Seb crushed me in his own way.

"Well I'm having it now, and yet half of me is saying that I shouldn`t even love them, that its only a friendly love I feel for them. But then again I've never hurt so much over someone who was my friend. And it`s just so confusing. I kissed Meliorn at the party yesterday, to prove that half right. But kissing him felt wrong, and they saw. And now it`s gone all haywire. " Aline now let out a sob. Was this about Helen? I always thought that they liked each other.

"Who is it you love Aline?" I asked, my gaze sympathetic.

"If I tell you who they are, it really will be real, and I`d then have to come out to myself." She rushed out, slightly panicked sounding.

"There`s no use bottling it up Aline, believe me, it only gets worse if you do."

"I. I love-" she broke off swearing. Then started again. "I`m in love with Helen" she rushed out, shouting. No one was there to hear though, except the shop owner named Luke. Who just looked up a second before returning to his book. Realisation dawned on Aline`s face before sobbing out." I'm in love with her" I moved my seat towards her, wrapping my arms around her petite yet tall frame.

"Shh, it`s okay Aline-" she broke me off

"Is it though? Loving her mea-means that I-I'm g-g-gay." she sobbed out again. "I`ve been denying it for years, always unsure, but now it`s clear as day, th-that I like girls, girls not boys. And I love Helen. My family would never accept me, Maybe my mom, but no one else. I'm doomed." Aline sobbed out again. I didn`t know what to say, what could I? I had never been in this sort of situation before. I would never have to face what she was facing now. All I could do was clutch her tighter. Aline`s sobbing died down until eventually she breathed out "Love sucks."

"Tell me about it." Was all I replied with. "I used to love this guy once, gave him my heart. But I didn't realise what he was really like until too late. Trust me when I say that you have to make sure she`s the right person for you. Then you can give her your heart."

"When did that happen to you then." Aline's tears were dying down now, my story distracting her from her own pain, good.

"A few months ago. I had to leave once it got too toxic." I said bitterly.

"You know, my cousin is having the same problem I think, we`re real close, or were at least. He's moving away too. messy breakup I think."

"But Aline, Helen isn`t anything like that boy I once loved or your cousin's ex. You should tell her. She seems to like you too."

"But what about yesterday, I kissed Meliorn, she saw. I promised her that neither of us would date for a while. I broke her promise."

"What would you do if she did the same to you? Would you forgive her?"

"Of course, b-but-"

"No buts, where is she right now?" I asked, a small smile gracing my lips.

"A-at her house, why-"

"Come on, you have to tell her." And with that Clary pulled the nervous looking Aline up, their half drunk coffee's forgotten like a child's abandoned toys. Clary gripped onto Aline's leather jacket as she led her towards the Blackthorns house, she knew roughly where it was.

"If I do this Clary, you have to tell Jace that you like him." Aline mumbled, upset over what she had to do.

"I can't, I'm not ready for any relationship right now, I-"

"Look Clary, Jace isn't anything like that dick you dated, Jace likes you, you like him. He can help you, all you have to do is let him." Aline started to demand, she sure was stubborn. She wouldn't move one more step until I crumbled.

"Fine then, I'll let him help me, just come on, you need to tell Helen." I stomped my foot, feeling extremely childish.

"Good" Aline smiled. I waited outside as Aline knocked on the door and waited for Helen. When Helen finally showed up, they fought for 30 seconds before Aline broke down and shouted 'I love you!' It wasn't long before Helen told her that she replicated her feelings. Clary left soon after, not wanting to really intrude much more on their moment. Now she had to go find Jace and live up to her end of the bargain.

 **helloooo, I'm back, been a long time to, this chapter isn't just a filler, it does have some important information in here ;) I stopped the chapter here because otherwise it would take another day to complete. Please review as they give me motivation, anyway, till next time.**

 **P.S; I listened to Marina And The Diamonds whilst writing this, I love her music so much.**

 **-Ruby |-/**


	14. Chapter 14- admitting

Why was I doing this? I thought as I trudged my way slowly back up to the Lightwood manor. I would've had to come back here anyway, I lost one of my necklaces here yesterday. My heart was beating a mile a minute, my palms still sweaty as I wiped them once again on the sides of my jacket. My worn and well used trainers scraped against the ground as my heart rate somehow increased. No matter how slow I walked, I got to the Lightwood house in mere minutes, seeing as it was only a block down from the Blackthorn house.

Tentatively, I used the almost ancient looking door knocker, that eerily reminded me of a Christmas carol, and knocked 3 times. Izzy opened the door, her face looking stressed. She relaxed slightly however as she saw it was me.

"Oh hey Clary, I thought you were Jon."

"Nah, I'm way better looking anyway" I joked to ease the tension. "Is Jace still here?"

"Yeah, he's sulking in his room I think, did something happen between you guys?"

"Yeah, but don't worry, I'm going to make up for it."

"Good, Jace is super unbearable when he's upset, like a girl on a heavy period really. " even though she made a joke about it, I could here the serious undertone to it. There was still a tense and stressed look in Izzy's face.

"Is everything okay Izzy?" I asked. Izzy slightly teared up.

"Ill tell you later. now go and see Jace." Izzy pushed me towards the stairs. she then left for the kitchen. I just hoped that she wasn't cooking anything, I had been warned before about her culinary skills, or moreover lack of. I started to ascend up the grand stairs and towards the room that held him. My palms were sweaty once again, the tell tale sign of how nervous I was. There was a sense of Déjà vu when I stood in front of a door again, ready to knock. But before I had the chance to, the door was opened, revealing a sad and now slightly startled looking Jace. He held a towel in his hands, presumably for a shower.

"Clary?" He was definitely shocked.

"Hi" I said rather awkwardly, "can I come in?" my voice was hesitant. Jace's face hardened.

"Sure" He quipped out passive aggressively. This was going to be hard. I went inside of his room, it was freakishly neat and bare, like one of the bedrooms from an IKEA store. I sat down on the bed, crinkling the sheets. Jace sat beside me, tense. I faced him before talking.

"I just want to start off by saying that I don't regret us kissing this morning, but I do regret leaving. I- I met Aline earlier, and she made me realise that I should give you a chance."

"Look Clary, I really like you, but do you like me? I don't want to be strung along by you-" Jace cut in.

"I never wanted to string you along Jace! cant you see that I'm scared. I've only ever been in one relationship before, and you know how that turned out!" I shouted, Sebastian smirking face flashed in front of me, and my heart rate increased. "Can't you see how hard this is, I want to be with you, I like you. But I'm so scared." I broke off, masking a sob for a cough, I wiped my hand over my eyes, making sure that I wasn't crying.

"Well If you like me, we could make this work? I want to make it work, I can help you Clary, I really like you, all you have to do is let me-" I was the one to cut him off this time, kissing him. once his shock wore off, he kissed me back desperately. We kissed for quite awhile after that, eventually having a full blown make out session, he was a really good kisser. when we had finally separated, both of us were breathless. "Is that a yes then?" Jace asked smiling.

"Well it depends what the question is. "I teased him.

"Okay, Clarissa Fray, will you do the honour of going out with me and showing you what a real boyfriend is like?" Jace laughed, but his eyes were serious, hopeful.

 _Don't do this Clary, if he ever finds out about Jace. He'd kill both of you_ the voice inside of my head whispered, terrified. But I ignored it for once and went with what my heart wanted, not my head.

"Yes" and then I returned to kissing him.

* * *

Both Jace eventually broke from out kissing to go downstairs to have break- well more of an early lunch now. Holding hands, we descended down the stairs where we were met with the smell of pancakes. Behind the stove was Magnus, who had clearly stayed the night and was now flipping pancakes. We both turned to look at a dreamy looking Alec, who was staring at his glittery boyfriend. Magnus caught him looking and blew a kiss. I coughed awkwardly to show our presence. Both of them looked slightly bewildered, like deer's caught in the headlights. Jace laughed before separating from me and heading towards the plate filled with pancakes. They all started laughing over something silly.

Meanwhile my focus had changed to Izzy, who seemed to be sulking in the corner.

"Izzy, do you want to talk?-"

"Nothing's wrong really, its just Jon and I going through a rough patch." Izzy spoke, smiling sadly.

"What happened?"

"Both of us like different people I think, but we still both like each other, we'll get over it though, don't worry about me, really."

"Well have you talked about it properly?" I asked.

"Yesterday." She replied.

"Well weren't you both drunk?"

"yes, and that was the most truthful we've been to each other lately, we haven't had a fully honest conversation in ages. Maybe it isn't meant to last"

"Well, you'll just have to do what's best for you." I finished. what else could I do?

 **Heyy, from now on I'll be updating every Thursday. just get ready as things will be heating up next chapter... Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. Reviews help motivate me. well till next week.**

 **-Ruby |-/**


	15. Chapter 15- manga and mayhem

"We've decided to break things off!" Izzy exclaimed happily, as soon as she sat down at the lunch table. Jon's arm was lazily slung over the back of her chair, a lazy smile gracing his lips.

"What?" I almost shouted. I acted the part rather poorly, even for myself. I knew that their breakup was going to happen soon, with all the conversations I'd had with Izzy, it was inevitable. Jace tutted at my attempt whilst Jon laughed.

"Izzy and I realised that it would be unfair to the rest of the male and female species if we just kept each other to ourselves" Jon's smile was wider now, whilst both he and Izzy seemed to share an inside joke.

"So in other words, it was mutual and you both want to see other people?" Jace guessed. Picking up a carrot stick from a salad Izzy was having, seemingly more interested in it than in them.

"Yep" Izzy and Jon both said in unison, popping the p's and even fist bumping each other.

"But we were all finally together!" Aline whined, Helen laughed but kissed her cheek in agreement . It was true. Everyone was now a couple (both Seelie and Kaelie had stopped sitting at the table after hearing that Jace was no longer single.) Well everyone was at least, but now Jon and Izzy had ruined it. But at least Jon and Izzy were both being truthful to themselves. It was Friday lunchtime, and both Jace and I had been dating for almost two weeks now. Alec and Magnus were celebrating their two week anniversary (It was mainly Magnus parading that information around, shedding lots of holo glitter everywhere whilst Alec blushed furiously.) Both Aline and Helen were more secretive to them dating, they had only told us that they were dating; close friends only. Whilst the rest of the school still saw them as best friends.

"Don't worry Aline, I'm sure your mysterious cousin 'Stan' can solve Izzy's single problem." Jace teased, mirroring Jon's earlier actions as he slung his arm lazily over the back of my chair.

"You can't call him that Jace, he'll kill me if he finds out that I called him that behind his back, only my family can get away with calling him Stan. " Aline scolded him.

"Well what are we meant to call him, you never told us-" I zoned out of Aline`s and Jace`s conversation. My mind focusing instead on how everything has changed so much. How two months ago I had just escaped Sebastian and left with bruises worn as his marks of possession. Two months since I last saw dad. I was starting to worry over Valentine now; he hasn't called me back in ages.

"His name is-"

"Aline can I borrow your phone please, mine's dead." I cut in, my gut starting to clench slightly, I might as well try to call him. Aline tossed her phone to me, and catching it, I walked out towards a quiet corridor.

Once getting into an isolated and abandoned area I dialled dad's number and waited for him to pick up. It had to be around 9am in L.A by now, so he'd definitely be up by now.

"Hello?" Valentine picked up by the third ring, I sighed in relief.

"Dad, why haven't you called me, you promised to call every Thursday, is everything alright?-"

"Yes everything's alright Clarissa, I was just preoccupied yesterday, and Sebastian showed up yesterday? Asking about you."

"Really?" My heart stopped then started racing rapidly. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him nothing of course," Valentine laughed lightly at my tense voice. " I know how you're not on good terms with him anymore. But he stayed for a few hours after that, so yeah, sorry about that." The tension that had built from Sebastian's name had lessened now. and I faked a light-hearted laugh along with him.

"That's good Dad, I was just worrying whether you were working too late again. " I added, my voice slightly tense again.

"No, you don't have to worry all about me Angel? Talking about work did you call for any other reason, I'm due for a meeting in a minute, so I'll have to hang up soon." Valentine would always be the same man, worried over work.

"No, I just called to check up, well I'll be calling soon again, love you Dad. " I smiled even though he couldn't see it.

"Love you too Angel" Valentine ended the call, I smiled at his name for me, he'd been calling me that ever since first grade when I had the part of an angel, it was the only ever play of mine that he'd been to.

I turned and quickly walked back towards the lunch hall. The otherwise deserted hallway now creeping me out. when I had finally got back to the chaotic canteen, Jace and Aline still seemed to be arguing over 'Stan', it was mainly Jace teasing her about calling him that and Aline threatening to embarrass him back.

"Jace quit it, I'm not sure that Aline can take your teasing anymore." I hit him playfully on the arm as I resumed my seat on the table.

"So when will we be meeting the lovely Stan?" Jace teased once more, I hit him once again.

"I think he's meant to be here" Aline checked her watch, "in 8 minutes, that's when his plane is meant to land anyway, but then again, you know JFK airport." Aline dismissed.

"Tell me about it, My plane was delayed for 3 hours, Mom had to browse in the shops for ages, waiting for me." I laughed along with Aline. "Are you gonna eat any of that pie Magnus, I'm starving." I added to Magnus, who was currently sucking the life out of Alec. Without breaking from the kiss, Magnus slid the bowl towards me. and picking up a fork, I begun happily munching on it, my thoughts of everything else gone.

* * *

The final bell had rung, I sighed in happiness, Izzy was somewhere else so I had sat in homeroom alone, the noisy chatter of my fellow classmates adding to my slight headache. Everyone had left now, leaving me alone, rubbing my temples, I stood up and slung my bag around my shoulder, and still looking down, I bumped into someone.

Shocked, I looked up and was met with a pair of chocolate brown eyes.

"Simon?" I gasped, shocked, he'd been avoiding me ever since I mentioned that I was Jon's sister. His dark brown curly hair fell into his face as he brushed t away with his fingers.

"Clary right?" Simon started, even though we both knew that he already knew my name. His glasses fell down slightly on his nose and he pushed them up again.

"Yes, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I smiled timidly. Simon blinked, momentarily looking confused before he remembered what he was going to say.

"Um yeah, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for ignoring you and yeah. It was wrong of me to be rude to you just because of who your brother was." Simon rushed out, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"Oh okay, well thanks. But why are you telling me this?" I felt slightly confused now. unsure of where this conversation was heading.

"It's just we seem really similar, like we could be friends or what-"

"So you want to be friends with me?" I questioned.

"Yeah, it's just we seemed to be getting on well and-" Simon looked rather embarrassed as he then muttered out " and I also noticed that you have volume 12 of Tokyo Ghoul. So I wanted to ask if I could borrow it."

I laughed at that, like the kind of doubling over on the ground laugh, it took a minute before I could stop laughing and wiping my tears away I answered with the straightest face I could manage "So I'm the only one with the book so you want to befriend me?" Simon was red in the face by now. and he muttered out a 'yes' I laughed slightly again before rummaging around in my bag trying to find it. That was when my sketch pad fell out, containing all my ideas for a graphic novel I wanted to create, I still wasn't really set on an idea yet.

"Let me get that." Simon said as he picked up my pad before looking at it. He whistled, turning to the next page.

"Hey! give that back!" It was my turn now to look embarrassed, my cheeks flushed as I tried to reach for it. Simon was far taller than me though, so he just lifted the pad further from my reach.

"These are actually really good, shame you have no real idea behind it though." Simon noted, assessing the pad from a height. I used Tokyo Ghoul to hit him consistently before he lowered the sketchpad and giving it to me, before rubbing his arm in defeat. I hugged the pad to my chest and finally gave him the book he wanted.

"Did you really think it was good?" I asked, now feeling slightly awkward, I felt bad for hitting him now, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Yeah, from what I saw anyway, but they're all unconnected. You know, if it's ideas that you're lacking, I've got this whole notepad dedicated to manga's I wanted to write. We could always; I don't know, add our skills together and try to create one." Simon suggested.

"Sure." I replied, surprising us both with my answer.

"Oh cool, so are you doing anything now, like we could start now if you want?" Simon asked. I thought of what he said for a second. Jace and Jon were at football training for two hours so I had that time to spare.

"Yeah, I have two hours to wait for Jace and Jon before I go home so I guess we could do it now." I smiled at him. "We could go to the school library or that coffee shop." I suggested.

"Let's go to the coffee shop, I have some of my ideas in there, hidden in the book section."

"Sure, can I just text Jace first, to let him know where I'm going, for all I know, you could be a serial killer." I joked.

"What type of serial killer wears such surprisingly witty shirts like me?" Simon gestured to his shirt that read 'I'd rather be watching cats on the internet' "Anyway don't all psychopaths' dress like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho?" Simon remarked.

"True." I sighed in mock defeat. "I'll text him at the coffee shop."

* * *

"You can't kill the main character in the first volume Clare, it always leads to the readers getting confused as to whether they should like the new main character or not."

"But I've always wanted the main character to die, we're talking about demon slaying warriors Si, some are bound to die" We had been arguing over parts of the manga for almost 2 hours now, all track of time lost. 15 minutes into our conversation of what the mange would be about, we had come into our first disagreement, and most of it continued from there. But despite all the arguments, we were getting along greatly; Simon was like the friend I always wanted. I was on my fifth drink now and Simon on his eighth. I had switched to decaf on my fourth and Simon on his third. But caffeine was pumping through our veins like water through pipes. We were both jittery and disputing animatedly. Luke, the shop owner was now leaning over and shamelessly listening into our discussion, we had chased away all of his other customers with our loud voices, but as long as we kept ordering drinks every 20 minutes or so, he didn't mind.

"Well kill the boyfriend or something, but don't kill the main character." Simon retorted, pushing his glasses up his nose once again.

"Are you plotting to kill me?" A new voice asked. Realising how loud they'd been, Clary turned to see Jace, who was leaning carelessly against the doorway. His expression as one of mock hurt.

"Yes" I laughed out narrowing my eyes at him in mock aggressiveness. "And replace you with a robot."

"Clary, I'm telling you, no robots!" Simon started up our earlier discussion. I came back with another retort then we were at it again, arguing over the most minor details. Jace cleared his throat a minute later.

"Clary." He whined. "C'mon, it's already 5:23, it's late, let's go back to your house. Jon's waiting in the car." I looked up puzzled at Simon who was now checking his watch.

"Is it really that time already? I'm gonna be late for the D&D game with Kirk and Eric, well I'll talk to you later Clary." Simon got up and nodded towards Jace and Luke as a goodbye before heading out.

"D&D?" Jace asked puzzled. Trust Jace not to know what Dungeons and Dragons was. I rolled my eyes before saying goodbye to Luke.

Heading towards the car, I was greeted with the semi angry looking Jon. "What were you doing with rat boy?" Jon asked, narrowing his eyes at me in frustration.

"You mean Simon? He doesn't even look like a rat, and what's your problem with him."I replied back, as angry as him, my good mood gone.

"Everyone knows he's been crushing on Izzy for ages, I don't want him using you to get to Izzy." Jon sighed slightly wearily.

"You're not even with Izzy anymore! And he's not using me. We're just discussing ideas for a manga. "I could see Jon's shoulders slightly slump in defeat. "I can see his reasons now for disliking you. "I added.

"Whatever, just get in the car, we're going to Izzy's, greeting Aline's cousin." I got into the front as Jace got into the back of the car.

"Sure, get going then." I said.

"Have you never heard of the French phrase 'quart d'heure de politesse', it means Quarter an hour of politeness, and her cousin's French so- " Jon trailed off as both Jace and I laughed.

"Just drive Jon." I urged him, and Jon finally pulled the car into first gear and started driving.

* * *

Less than ten minutes later, we were at Izzy's house. Jace was out first and knocked on the door and Izzy answered it 3 seconds later, along with Magnus, who threw glitter on him, Jace cursed before chasing him. Jon greeted Izzy saying something about him being famished; I was the last to get to the door.

"Clary!" Izzy greeted me,"You should meet Aline's cousin, come, he's in the study." Izzy led me to the study bet then she heard a crash from somewhere in the kitchen. "What did Jon do this time? You'll have to greet him by yourself, he seems really nice." Izzy was already walking away towards where more noise was being made, sounding something like smashed glass.

I entered the study, books adorned each of the walls. There was a fire crackling quietly as the room felt slightly stuffy and too warm. Stood at the edge of the fireplace stood Aline's cousin. He seemed to be looking at photos of the Lightwoods. It was of Izzy Jace, Jon and Alec in the snow. Jon's arm was slung over Izzy's and Jace's shoulders, his hair damp with some snow, the picture catching him mid laugh. Alec was stood further back, a snowball in hand as he seemed to have it aimed at the back of Jace's head. I stood still for a second before speaking.

"Hi Aline's cousin, I'm Clary. What's your name?" I greeted him, slightly embarrassed over not knowing his name.

"Your brother looks a lot like your Dad Clare Bear." He replied, the voice was so familiar, no, it couldn't be. His back was turned away from me, I couldn't be sure.

"How do you know-" I gasped, shocked. It couldn't be him.

"Your Dad? Of course I know him Clare, I even saw him only yesterday." He was still facing the fireplace. I no longer felt the heat of the warm room, ice was in my veins, and I was frozen.

"Y-Yesterday?" was all I managed out, even my tongue seemed frozen, unable to form any other words.

"To ask about you of course. You didn't think that I'd let you go so easily now would I?" And with that, he turned around and I was met with the piercing black and soulless eyes of Sebastian. My nightmare.

 **...And the plot thickens.** **This has to be the most I've ever written for a chapter, that's why it took slightly longer this week to update. I really wanted for Sebastian to be revealed in this chapter and for Clary's and Simon's friendship to blossom. What do think will happen between Clary and Seb now? Your reviews are always wanted and they also motivate me to write. This story isn't that far from being finished now, but it's definitely not over in the next few chapters. Once again, please review.**

 **PS; I listened mainly to Lana Del Rey whilst writing this, even though I don't usually listen to her much :-D**

 **-Ruby |-/**


	16. Chapter 16- Meeting 'Stan'

previously;

 _"Your brother looks a lot like your Dad Clare Bear." He replied, the voice was so familiar, no, it couldn't be. His back was turned away from me, I couldn't be sure._

 _"How do you know-" I gasped, shocked. It couldn't be him._

 _"Your Dad? Of course I know him Clare, I even saw him only yesterday." He was still facing the fireplace. I no longer felt the heat of the warm room, ice was in my veins, and I was frozen._

 _"Y-Yesterday?" was all I managed out, even my tongue seemed frozen, unable to form any other words._

 _"To ask about you of course. You didn't think that I'd let you go so easily now would I?" And with that, he turned around and I was met with the piercing black and soulless eyes of Sebastian. My nightmare._

Cpov;

My breathing almost stopped as his eyes met with mine. My veins, which had before felt like it was filled with sludgy and icy blood, was now racing through my body, My heart starting to pick up a rapid pace. My heartbeat was the only sound I heard whilst time seemed to slow. Our eyes stayed locked together, his challenging mine to back down. Finally, I submitted to him, lowering my eyes. Sebastian slowly walked towards me. His pace slow, as if approaching to steal a diamond which had booby traps all around it. His feet carefully placed. Sebastian was finally in front of me, his piercing gaze giving me an extremely uncomfortable feeling. I was surprised when I felt his hands wrap around me, so tightly. As if to say _'I wont ever let go of you again'._

The bubble of silence seemed to finally pop as he continually whispered one word over and over again. ' _Clary'._ Almost gently, he unwound his arms from me. But he didn't step back though, keeping the intimately close position with me. I finally muster the courage to look up at him. And with him now seeing that my full attention was on him, he smiled, a sinister twist to his lips.

"Why did you go Clare bear? Why didn't you tell me where you went. I almost went mad looking for you?" He asked, mocking hurt. His right hand lifted up and twirled one of her curls around his finger, admiring it. Seeing that I wasn't going to answer, he continued. "But then I remembered how you once mentioned how your brother and mom lived in Brooklyn. I also knew how you always said your brother looked just like Valentine." As he continued with his speech, his other hand went to caress the side of my face, cupping my cheek. " My cousin Aline, I knew she would probably know him somehow, she's such a social butterfly. But I didn't expect her to be at the same school as him. Her Instagram had enough recent pictures of him to prove it. They even went on a holiday with friends together. around the time you left." He paused to lift up the curl that he had in his hand to sniff it, breathing in deeply the scent of my hair." After that, it was just way too easy. Aunt Elodie realised how sad I was, after she found out you _cheated_ on me. She thought it to be best that I went to my other Aunts for a while, the Penhallows. Then, all I had to do was get a flight here." He finished triumphantly, his eyes appreciating my still shocked state.

The hand that held the side of my face now held my chin in a strong grip, almost bruising me. His other hand wound into the back of my hair and tugged harshly, forcing me to look into his eyes again, I had unknowingly lowered them back down. "And now that I have you again _Clarissa_ , I do hope that you won't be running away anytime soon, or telling your friends of our rather _'intimate'_ history together now would you _._ I would hate to use your brother's _safety_ to anchor you here. I would also hate to hurt him, I really want to be friends with him. " Sebastian's grin grew wider as he saw the fear deepen in my eyes.

Almost tentatively, he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. I was too scared to move. He stepped back before the door opened loudly, we both turned around to see Izzy, who seemed too busy to notice how shocked I seemed.

"Your idiot of a brother decided to break one of my mum's favourite bowl. He didn't even need one." Izzy seemed to be in a slight rage, slight being a huge understatement.

"Remember that you used to date this idiot." Jon laughed lightly as he came in from behind her. Izzy turned towards him and scowled.

"Clary, I see you've now met ..."

"Call me Bastian" Sebastian answered, he made his French accent more pronounced, if I wasn't so shocked right now, I would of rolled my eyes. In L.A, you could barely hear his accent.

"Well, bonjour Bastian" Izzy smiled semi flirtatiously. She cleared her throat."Je m'appelle Izzy." She tested. Sebastian laughed.

"That was probably the worst flirting I've ever seen from anyone." Jon put in.

"You know-" Izzy started.

"Well it was nice meeting you _Bastian,_ but Jon, I'm tired, can we go now?" I snapped out of my shocked state, I had to get Jon away from him.

"But we just got here" Jon whined.

"Please" I almost begged. Jon took a real look at me then, looking at me for the first time.

"You look rather pale, maybe we should, sorry for the bowl Iz. " Jon wound his arm around my shoulders before leaving with me.

"You okay Clary?" Jon then whispered.

"No" I replied. And as long as Sebastian stayed here, I wouldn't ever be.

 **I just somehow lost all inspiration halfway through this chapter, hence it being so short. This chapter was gonna be way longer. Please review, they help motivate me.**

 **-Ruby |-/**


	17. Chapter 17- Monday

**Trigger Warning, themes of abuse ahead;**

"Clare, you zoned out for the fifth time in five minutes, are you sure you still want to do this?" Simon waved his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my daydream. It was the following Monday since Seb- 'Bastian' had moved here, and he had already fit in well with all of the group, apart from me of course. Seeing as he had graduated last year, he was supposedly taking a gap year, to 'figure out' and get everything he wanted before starting his studies for economics in the NY college. It wasn't hard for me to see what he wanted to get, as his eyes skimmed over to me for a second whilst telling our group, his meaning clear for what he was trying to get back. He was delusional.

"Clare, you've done it again, is it the coffee?" Simon asked, turning suspiciously to Luke, who just shrugged back at him before returning to his book. I glanced down to the cup, I was in no mood for drinking any. Simon and I were still discussing ideas for the manga, but my inspiration had evaporated, like the steam that rose from the coffee cup.

"Nah, Its nothing Simon, I just don't feel well today." I closed my eyes, the familiar heavy weight in my chest, constricting my breathing, forced me to push my coffee away. Simon regarded my cup before picking it up himself and sipping. Simon looked at me guiltily as I stared at him, confused. "I'm not wasting good coffee if you don't want to drink it." He explained before taking another sip. I shrugged, not in the mood to care.

"what's wrong Clare?" Simon finally asked, looking me in the eye.

"Nothing." My smile was as bland as buttered bread. To be truthful, everything was wrong. Sebastian was here, big problem, he had befriended all of my friends, bigger problem, he was slowly isolating me from everyone again, a colossal problem. He was slowly doing to me what he did back in LA. I haven't talked to either Maia or Jordan in months, and we used to be inseparable, it only took one boy to smash my life up into tiny pieces.

"Clare, is it ab-"

The door groaned loudly as it was pushed open forcibly, in tumbled Izzy, who was laughing loudly with Sebastian standing calmly beside her, smiling too sweetly for it to be true.

"Clary! Just the person I was looking for you!" There was a sort of manic gleam in her eyes, was she slightly drunk? No, she was just oddly happy.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked, curiosity oozed out of me.

"Bastian and I played a prank on Jon." Izzy chortled, bursting out laughing again. Sebastian just smiled again. Sebastian always loved to play pranks, it was clearly one thing he hadn't changed about his personality when moving here.

"So why were you looking for me?" I still hadn't looked at Sebastian properly.

"Oh, Jace was looking for you, he's coming here, and Bastian and I thought we could tag along to." With that, I couldn't help but look at Sebastian as Izzy mentioned Jace's name. He'd found out pretty soon that we were going out. Now his eyes were darker, his happy façade was wearing slightly thin, fury clear in his eyes. He was jealous. But he hung his arm over Izzy as if he was unbothered and laughed with her. Izzy leaned into him slightly, was he trying to make me jealous?

"Oh okay, but I've got to go soon." I supplied an excuse. Yes, I was avoiding Jace. I didn't want him to find out about who 'Bastian' really was, I didn't want anyone else hurt by him, especially Jon or Jace now.

"No worry, I'm here." Jace spoke, emerging from behind Sebastian, who was still standing by the door.

"Don't you want to sit down?" Simon asked, gesturing to the empty seats. Izzy and Sebastian proceeded to sit down, But Jace stayed standing.

"Clary, can we talk for a minute?" Jace asked, trying to get me to look him in the eyes.

"Sorry I can't, I have to leave now with Simon, we're going to a poetry reading now." I quickly dragged Simon out, politely saying my goodbyes to Jace and Izzy.

"What was that all about then?" Simon asked curiously as we began walking down the busy streets of Brooklyn. Loud voices slightly drowning his voice out.

"What was what about?" I asked back, faking an innocent expression.

"Isabelle and Bastiard being so cosy." At least Simon had picked up my hate for Sebastian. I preferred that nickname. I laughed slightly before answering truefully with, "I don't know, Izzy having her fun with the new kid."

"I think that she deserves better." Simon mumbled, brushing his messy curls out of his face. I laughed again but agreed. Izzy didn't deserve to have someone treat her so harshly like he would, over my dead body would he go out with her.

"Why'd you think that?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"I don't know, there's just something weird about him, he's always so calm, I feel like it's a façade." Simon's expression was thoughtful.

"I think that too."

"Good." Simon smiled, before adding "Besides, Isabelle should have someone who actually likes her for herself, not her looks." He almost mumbled the end. I gazed curiously at him for a second, I hadn't given much thought into what Jon had said about Simon liking Izzy. But now it was obvious that he liked her.

"So you see her for herself, and not her body? " I asked, Is Jon right?

"Well yeah." He spoke so quietly that I almost didn't hear it, almost.

"You could always tell her that you know." I told him.

"But she'd just laugh at me." Simon nervously defended.

"If that's what you'd think she'd do, then you don't know her that well, just go tell her that." I defended Izzy back.

"Meh, I might. "Simon ended, we walked to the Café where Simons friend Eric was doing poetry in silence. I wasn't lying when I told all of them that I was going there, Simon had been telling me of how 'unique' his friends poetry really was.

* * *

Well that was an hour of my life that I'd never get back, but Eric's far fetched attempts to be edgy did help me to forget all of my problems, as he gave me a massive headache. Simon and I had parted ways soon after, he had to get home for something special, and I also wanted to go home.

A shrill ring pierced the quiet alley that I was walking down, I fished my phone out of my bag and saw Izzy's caller ID, the uncomfortable tight feeling in my chest had loosened slightly as I saw her name and not Jace's.

"Izzy?" I started.

"Oh hey Clary, can you possibly come round mine, I need to talk to you?" Izzy got straight to the point.

"Yeah sure, I'll be there in 5 minutes, see you then." Her house was already quite near to where I was already, Izzy said goodbye and hung up, I wondered what she wanted to talk about?

It took me less than several minutes to get to her door, I almost knocked using the massive brass knocker, but Izzy answered before I could do it.

"Hey Clary, come right in. I need to talk to you." Izzy almost whispered. She quietly ushered me in. We crept silently up to her room and she shut the door slowly so it didn't make any noise.

"Why are we being so quiet?" I asked her whispering. Now that her heavy and soundproof looking door was shut, she talked at normal volume.

"My younger brother is asleep down the hall and sound echo's easily here, I normally wouldn't care but our parents just got off a flight with him so he needs to sleep. " Izzy explained.

"Ok okay. So, why do you want to talk with me?" I asked her curiously. The silence that surrounded us felt strange, as if a bubble was surrounding us.

"I just wanted to talk about Bastian with you." Izzy stared at me straight in the eye, did she know? He wouldn't tell her would he?

"W-What about him?" I cursed internally at my stutter.

"Well I don't know really, he just seems so calm all the time like nothing affects him, don't you think?" Izzy asked, but my answer was lost on me, I was having flashbacks again.

* * *

 _January, several months prior_ _;_

 _I heard him open the door before I saw it, my mind was hundreds of miles with my mum and brother, but I was brought back to reality as I was met with the dark onyx eyes of my boyfriend. I was standing outside his house at 7 at night. He'd been acting weird all day whilst we were out with Jordan and Maia. And I was here to find out why._

 _"Hey." I smiled up at him, he so easily towered over me. He motioned me to come in, not even greeting me. I now knew something was wrong. We walked silently to his room, it felt like being in a bubble._

 _"Is your Aunt here?" I asked, breaking the silence._

 _"Not for a while, we have the place to ourselves" Sebastian's voice was slightly monotonic. I shivered, he reminded me of Valentine whilst lecturing me over something. Once we got to his room Sebastian closed the door silently, I turned to face him._

 _"You and Jordan looked comfortable today. Any history between the two of you." Sebastian spoke, looking unbothered, but looking into his eyes I knew that he was anything but._

 _"What?" I was confused. "We've been friends since middle school, same with Maia."_

 _"Lies." He spat. "You've been cheating on me with him haven't you?"_

 _"Seb, I haven't cheated on you I swear. You don't have to be melod-"_ _He then slapped me, hard. My head crashed against the wall, making a dent in the plaster. Sebastian had never hit me before. Sebastian had never hit me before. the words flew around my brain as I tried to figure out what was happening._

 _He'd hit me, a tear rolled down my cheek, Seb said that he loved me, why would he do it?_

 _"Clary!" he shouted as a slap echoed through the silent apartment. My cheek stung. Slowly I got to my feet. but before I was fully up, he pushed me into the wall trapping me in his arms. His mouth was pressed firmly onto mine. his tongue forcing entry into my unyielding mouth. I turned my head to the side but he still didn't take the hint as he started trailing kisses down my neck. I started shaking my head. no stop._

 _"Why did you lie to me Clary? Don't you love me? I love you." He spoke between his attempts to kiss me, I was finally able to push him off me, my vision slightly blurry with tears._

 _"You don't hit the people you love Sebastian." My voice came out in a chocked sob._

 _"You do if you find out that they're cheating on you. You're mine Clary!" He shouted before launching himself on me again, his mouth once again persistent, I gave up struggling after a while, it was no use. He was too strong. Soon his hands started to reach for under my top. No!_

* * *

Present day;

"Clary, have you been listening to a word I've been saying?" Izzy asked, snapping me out of the flashback as she pushed me slightly.

"Sorry, I just zoned out a bit." I admitted sheepishly, my voice shook slightly, I felt as if his hands were still on me, bruises littering my body.

"Well I asked you whether you and Jace are okay, he's been a bit down recently, are things between you two okay?" Izzy asked. The uncomfortable feeling was back again, as was the lump in my throat.

"Um sure we are, Izzy its late, I have to go now." My excuse sounded lame even to me.

"But you just got here." Izzy whined, but I was already rushing out of her house, legs shaky. I was silent as a mouse, remembering that her younger brother was sleeping. Izzy didn't get the chance to even say goodbye.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the door shut behind me, my nerves settling. It was already dark outside, I needed to get home quickly.

"Going somewhere?" A voice spoke from the shadows. I jumped in shock.

"why are you outside Izzy's house Sebastian." I spat, though I was terrorized beneath my tough façade.

"Well maybe I just wanted to see you, seeing as we didn't speak at all over the weekend." Sebastian sauntered towards me, my heart rate sped up with each step closer.

"Was it not obvious that I was avoiding you." I hissed out. Suddenly Sebastian grabbed my arm. He clamped his hand around my mouth before I could make any noise.

"Are you avoiding me because you have Jace now? Come on Clarissa, we both know having a boyfriend wont stop you from spending time with another man. You did it enough times with Jordan." he seethed, how could Izzy ever think he was too calm, his eyes always spoke of anger when he was with me. "Anyway, let's walk you home, wouldn't want any harm coming your way." Sebastian's calmly happy façade was back on. he released my arm and started not to gently pushing me towards moving. My arm stung as blood rushed towards the oxygen starved limb, Sebastian sure had a strong grip.

"I don't care what you think Sebastian, but I never cheated on you." I calmly whispered. He looked at me but said nothing.

"Of course, you don't cheat on those that you love, but did you ever love me Clare?"

"The same could be said for not hitting the ones you love, yet when I arrived at the city, I was covered in bruises." I replied, our pace was fast, my destination being my house.

"You never answered." Was all he said.

"I gave you your answer earlier."

"Can you only-"

 _Beep beep_

I almost jumped out of my skin when the car came to a holt next to me. In shock I turned only to be met with furious eyes. My stomach dropped.

 **Aaand I'm back! I'm sorry that I haven't updated in more than a month, but I had mocks in December and used my holiday to paint and read. I'm in year 11 so this is my year of GCSEs. Anyway, please review, constructive criticism is much needed for me to grow as an author. Do you think I need a beta?**

 **P.S; I was listening to Lana Del Rey whilst writing this, somehow Video Games reminds me of the TMI gang.**

 **-Ruby |-/**


	18. Chapter 18-Out in the open

**Can I just say before you read the chapter that when I first originally wrote this story (which was more than a year ago) I had no plan. I was going to write a whole different story about Clary being a ghost and not surviving Sebastian's abuse. I've never had a set plan so that is why I have written parts of this story strangely. Anyway, ahead with the story we go;**

The furious eyes of my boyfriend met mine as I squeaked out a hi. Jon's face appeared behind Jace's.

"Clary, and Bastian?" Jon seemed confused. "Izzy called us saying you were acting odd, you're just lucky that we were coming back from practice." Jon laughed through the tense situation. His laugh seemingly adding to Jace's foul mood.

"Why are you with Bastian?" Jace asked, as if Jon didn't say anything.

"I was walking home when I saw Clary leaving Izzy's house in a rush." Sebastian explained swiftly, gaining a stronger French accent than when he was talking to me alone.

"Not that I really asked you to walk with me." I said with a tinge of hostility, Sebastian just looked at me before asking Jon whether he could get a ride, even though the Penhallows lived only a few blocks away.

"Earth to Clary, you gonna join us." Jon almost shouted, laughing as I snapped out of my daydream. I hastily got into the back of the car with Sebastian. For the third time this night, I felt like silence was surrounding me. Even Jon didn't attempt to talk with how tense the atmosphere was. As soon as Sebastian left the car, patting my knee as a warning to not tell, Jace almost exploded in anger.

"What were you doing with him Clary, that guy is not good news, I can see it in his eyes!" Jace started shouting, his body tense with anger. We were at least a safe distance from Sebastian now so I was able to relax.

"Do you think I had a choice Jace, its not like I can refuse walking with him." I shout back.

"Well I'm sure that if I was the one to try and walk with you, you'd somehow find a way to avoid me!" Jace yelled, it was clear that that was his real problem.

"I don't know what you mean." I said shocked.

"Oh come off of it Clary, everyone's noticed how you've been avoiding me recently." Jace scoffed.

"I have n-" I started.

"Guys, can we at least wait until we're out of the car, I don't want to particularly be here when you guys are arguing." Jon yelled, cutting me off, and once again, we lapsed into silence.

* * *

The 5 minutes of silence that followed was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. Jon left as soon as he could, leaving Jace and I to lock the car and get into the house.

"Why are you doing this to me Clary?" Jace was the first one to break the silence. I locked the car swiftly before raising my gaze to reach his eyes.

"I'm not doing anything Jace, I just haven't been feeling well recently." I told him, being partially truthful. It was true that I wasn't feeling well recently, but that wasn't the reason why I was avoiding him.

"Then what's wrong? Talk to me Clary." Jace pleaded. I could no longer look him in the eye, I couldn't let him know, Seb would make me pay, make them all pay.

"Tell me what's wrong Clare." Jace whispered walking up close to me and bending down to catch my gaze. He was breaking down my defences slowly, wearing away at me like drops of water on a stone. Soon all my armour would be gone. I shook my head stubbornly, closing my eyes as if this was all a dream. Jace swore at my stubbornness, my eyes were still closed so all I heard was angry footsteps retreating into my house.

I quickly followed after him, both curious and scared about what he was going to do next. I ran up the stairs after him, only to stop by my room and see him in there. He was standing by my desk, with a crumpled piece of paper in his hand.

"What's this?" He asked, holding up a crumpled sketch of Sebastian, the image that haunted my nightmares.

"It doesn't matter Ja-" I started, scared of what he was already thinking, scared he would make the connection. It was stupid of me to leave it on my desk, but I couldn't get the image outside of my head, sketching usually helped get rid of unwanted memories.

"Is this what its about Clary? Do you like him now?" Jace's voice cracked at the end.

"No, Jace I would never cheat on you!" I squeaked out, if only he knew my real feelings for 'Bastian'.

"I never said you cheated on me Clary, all I wasn't to know is why you're being like this to me!" He shouted. I once again couldn't look him in the eyes. Pressure was surrounding me. I felt as if I wasn't getting enough air inside of me. The rest of what he said was lost on me, all I could hear was blood pounding behind my ears, roaring like a steam engine on tracks, heading towards me, faster, faster, faster, I couldn't get enough air, black darkness surrounded the edges of my vision, seeping outwards quickly, I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe. The only sound now was my heart thumping as if I was sprinting, running away from all my troubles. Till there was no more noise...

* * *

Slowly, as if waking up from a heavy sleep, I opened my eyes. my heart rate had now calmed down slightly, though it was still beating rather too rapidly to be at its usual resting beat. I was on the ground, on someone's lap. Jace's lap. Darkness no longer surrounded my vision, only the golden halo that was Jace's face. I could roughly hear Jon in the background talking rapidly to someone. What happened.

"You had a panic attack, you were out for over a minute. Jace is on the phone with Izzy now as Jocelyn's phone is off." Jace whispered. I guess Id spoken my thought out aloud.

"They've never been that bad before." I whispered confused.

"I know that you know the cause behind it, its the same problem as to why you're avoiding me isn't it." Jace spoke carefully. My armour was almost at breaking point now, and he knew it.

"Please tell me Clare." He pleaded so quietly that I almost didn't hear him, but I did. The last defences I held against him were broken with the single name Clare, that was what Seb used to always call me. And with my defences gone, the damn inside of me broke. Tears burst from my eyes and I could no longer hold my sobs in. _I cant do this anymore._ My mind screamed at me. _He's slowly ruining me, Sebastian will never allow me to be happy._ And with that, my hope broke.

"Who's Sebastian, your ex?" Jace broke through my crying. I froze. I spoke those words out loud once again. My blood turned to ice. I shook my head quickly, my mouth quickly forming a terrified "no" out.

"Is this what its all about Clary? Your ex, this is why you're so scared?" He asked. I waited in terror as he slowly pieced it together. His face getting wiped of all emotion, but in his eyes, he was furious. Beside hem, Jace picked up[ the crumpled drawing of Seb, as if seeing him in a new light.

"Bastian, short for Sebastian. How could I have been so stupid." Was all Jace said, getting up.

"What's going on?" Jon asked, finally hanging up on Izzy. He stepped towards Jace, concern filling his eyes as he assessed his friends tense stance. Placing a hand on Jace's shoulder.

"Oh nothing much, just that your sister failed to mention that her abusive ex-boyfriend has followed her here to try and terrify her." Jace said smoothly. Jon froze, shock written all over his face. I saty up quickly, but Jace was out of my door all to soon shouting "He'll pay" before slamming the front door loudly. Silence.

I got up silently, rushing to the window only to see the shadow of Jace's figure running down the street, towards the Penhallows house.

"What the hell Clare." Was all Jon said. I guess it was time for the truth to come out, and part of me was relieved.

 **Well, I guess you'll just have to wait till the next chapter to find out what happens! It'll be a split PoV between Jace and Clary. Also its Jace Herondale's birthday today! Yayy. So anyway please review and I just want to say that this only has a few chapters left now ;) I hope everyone likes how all the secrets are finally out for everyone to see now and that this wasn't originally meant to be so soon, but thanks to sophiecampbellbower, my story has changed for the better.**

 **So yeah I just want to give a shout out to sophiecampbellbower for always giving me the best reviews.**

 **Anyway till next time-**

 **-Ruby|-/**


	19. Chapter 19-Run and Drive

**I** **got a burst of inspiration from the new twenty one pilots songs...**

Jace-

When I was a child I'd often felt anger; anger towards my father for not coming to any of my school plays, my mother for constantly leaving me on the weekends to work- hell even Alec for something as simple as beating me at games.

I'd also felt betrayal. Betrayal from my parents for leaving me alone with Maryse for weeks on end to further their business. Betrayal from my mom constantly making empty promises-the futility of her trying to make it up for leaving me was forever displayed when neither she nor dad kept their word.

Betrayal and anger were often expressed together with me, but I'd never felt it as strongly as I did now.

Clary.

Why couldn't she just tell me about Bast-Sebastian and herself's past. I was sprinting out of her house as quick as I could. I saw red. The ugly fist flying, blood boiling red. Adrenalin coursed through my veins as my legs picked up speed.

My heavy footfalls ran along to the sound of my hammering heart against my chest, roaring and fuelling towards the fists that _would_ beat Sebastian to a bloody pulp.

I slowed down-what was I thinking. Clary would never respect me if I turned to violence- then I'd be just like him.

But I wasn't. I didn't hit girls, I didn't hit anyone physically weaker or smaller than me-he's a coward.

A coward for hitting someone as delicate as Clary to feel better about himself.

I stopped.

What was I going to do? Run up to the Penhallows and knock on the door, hoping it was him to open the door.

I could call Alec- no, he shouldn't get involved in it. I started jogging to the Penhallows again. I couldn't let him get away with this, what he did to her. It was inexcusable. He had to pay.

Once again I picked up speed.

CPOV;

Despite the panic I felt over having to tell Jon of Sebastian's and my past; I couldn't help but also feel relieved that everything being out in the open.

"What's Jace talking about, who is he?"Jon asked frantically. I faintly registered Jon's panicked tone, the ache in my chest appeared as I turned to look at my brother. Oh Jonny-you don't deserve all the trouble that's my baggage. I should of done the right thing in the first place and never of risked my family or newfound friends on the wrath of Sebastian. What was I thinking moving to New York, it was futile to leave him-he'd find me.

But it wasn't too late now to fix the mess I'd made.

"Clare you're freaking me out, please what does Jace mean? Who hurt you!" Jon turned from scared to furious as if someone had switched a flip. His eyes now livid with unhinged fury. He suddenly grabbed me as if I needed a reminder that he was waiting.

"Clarissa!" Jon now shook me none too gently. I finally snapped.

"Why are you acting like this is from some stupid soap opera! Shut up and let me think for a second before I tell you!" I screamed at him- I needed to think of a way to tell him. "Just let me think. " I repeated calmly.

"There's no time for thinking, I just need you to tell me who hurt you." Jon slumped down against my bedroom wall, framed pictures I had nailed up against the orange walls shook from the impact of Jon hitting his head against it, as if to calm down the rapid stream of thoughts he was having.

"My ex, it's Sebastian."

"You mean Bastian- he's hurt you? H-how long have you two known each other?" Jon sounded calmer yet the underlying fury in his tone with the enraged glint in his eyes told a different story- one of violence.

"Little over a year, we went to the same high school back in LA and dated from around Christmas last year until when I moved here-" I let out raggedly until a sob broke through my speech.

Jonathan crawled over to me then, wrapping his strong arms around me as if I was a small child. I guess I was to him- I looked so fragile sitting there all scrunched up, sobbing with my arms wrapped around myself as if to keep my body from falling apart around me. The futility wasn't lost on me, my life crumbling around me like the gingerbread house of lies and false deceptions I'd built here. But I wasn't as fragile as I looked, Jon and I both knew it.

"Why's he back?" Jon whispered.

"To get what he thinks is his."

"So what are we going to do? Jace is already running to beat him to a pulp, maybe I'll get a few punches in too." Jon spoke calmly yet I could hear the underlying fury in his tone. he was hurt, upset that he did nothing all this time- that I had been hurt by seb.

"No Jon, violence isn't the answer-he's been threatening me with violence all this time, don't turn to violence to feel better. " Despite my soft spoken words, I only further increased his anger towards seb.

"Can't you see! Nothing can make me feel better about this. Beating him up will stop him from thinking he can have you though." Jon stood up suddenly. We both knew where he was going.

"Please don't do this Jonny." I begged him. I grabbed his elbow in a desperate attempt to stop him. its not that I didn't want to hurt Sebastian- I just knew that the repercussions of hurting him would far outweigh the damage he'd receive.

"Clary, don't make this harder than this already is." Jon ripped his arm from my grip. I then gripped his left arm again with futility.

"I'm not! Cant you see, by stopping you I'm making this easier, nothing good can come from getting involved with him, trust me. Fighting him will only make him more determined, more lethal to us. " I reasoned with him, I could see my argument running through Jon's head.

"Okay." Jon took a calming breath before I relaxed the grips on his arm. The conflict had evaporated between us. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"We still have to go after Jace though." Jon reminded me.

"Do you think he's there yet?" I asked worriedly.

"He was running, so he's most likely close." Jon estimated, the Penhallows weren't that far away, several blocks at most.

"Where's the car keys?" Jon asked impatiently. If we didn't get there soon something bad would happen.

"By the door, quick." Both Jon and I were running down the steps. We had to get to Jace...

JPoV;

Thunder roared in the background like a battle cry warning of a war ahead. My blood was boiling-fatigue ignored as I slowed down. I had finally reached the Penhallows' home. Behind the antique oak doors of the tall three storey Victorian building was my target; my foe- Sebastian.

The sinister rumbles of the thunder were now accompanied with the heaveying but lighter sounds of rainfall. the arrangement of noise evened out white noise as I approached the front door. My hair was curling from the myriad of raindrops that were caught in-between my locks. The lights in the house were still turned on. Despite the cold and dreary weather, the night wasn't as cold as most other winter nights in New York. The night was still early-my blood racing; anger was my fuel- whether it was the energy that brought down mine or Sebastian's downfall- I did not know. I just hoped it was the latter's.

The old brass knocker felt heavy in my hand, I ignored all rationality of my future actions.

The door opened.

"Jace?"

"Oh-hi Aline." I almost stuttered. In the minutes leading up to getting here I'd completely overlooked how it might not be Sebastian who opened the door. I was thrown off-guard by Aline's presence.

"Hi, w-why are you hear?" Aline stuttered herself, the look of pure confusion was written all over her face. why was I- Sebastian!

"Where's your cousin" I asked impatiently. Aline looked at me as if I was a complex puzzle.

"Why do you need him at this time? He's studying." Aline replied slowly. "Are you heading out anywhere cos my parents don't like us going out at this time usually."

"Well I just need to talk to him" I muttered angrily, Aline still looked at me sceptically but opened the door further in invitation. Before I got a step in Sebastian loudly descended the stairs.

"Oh hey Jace" Sebastian greeted warmly, smiling in greeting; the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Aline, why's Jace here?" he turned to his cousin, who still looked slightly confused.

"I'm here to _talk_ to you Sebastian " Jace replied for himself. Sebastian dropped his smile- he knew I knew; why else would I use his full name.

"Stan?" Aline asked.

"I'll be talking to Jace outside, I've got my keys" Sebastian muttered, he gestured for me to go outside. I stiffly obliged. It was showtime...

The rainfall outside had eased up slightly despite only being in their house for little over a minute. The click of the front door signalled that we were alone. I quickly turned around.

"So I'm guessing Clary's told you about us?" Sebastian started off.

"The fact that you're her abusive ex who's stalked her across the country, nah, she was way too scared for that- I figured it out." I spat out angrily.

"Who knew; the blond jock does have brains after all." Sebastian laughed ruthlessly, behind him, he produced a gun. "Nothing fancy I know- yet still, I had to be prepared just in case she did ever tell anyone. I guess it's time to follow through with my threats. "

I gulped- this was not how I expected things to go...

* * *

The Fray siblings frantically drove down the Brooklyn streets- rushing towards the Penhallows' home. Meanwhile Sebastian Verlac slipped into his own car. the revving sounds of his engine was swallowed by the roaring of the thunder. Of the myriads of raindrops falling down onto the New York streets- few fell onto the still form of Jace Wayland. The rainwater mixed with the blood on his head causing the ground around him to carry a pink tint to it. Aline Penhallow nervously paced around in her room- contemplating whether she should give into the temptation of lacing up her boots and going outside to see what was happening. She somehow couldn't place the uneasy feeling she was having over the two boys encounter.

The Frays turned another corner, they didn't have enough time to react to the other car speeding towards them. The car's lights barely showed the road in front of them- with the rain pelting down heavily on them.

Sebastian however expected them, pulling out his gun- he unwound the window to fire.

Neither foresaw that the cars would collide into each other. The cars mashed together, one of the drivers flying through the windshield. Glass shattered and covered the three unconscious bodies along with rain. the sound of the crash rang clearly through the otherwise noisy outside. The thunder had ceased for those few seconds. the gunshot however had been swallowed in the loud sound of scraping metal colliding with each other. Neither of the three bodies lay unscratched. Neither conscious.

Aline Penhallow rushed out of her house after hearing a loud crash not that far away. That wasn't the sound of thunder. However all she saw was the limp form of her friend- Jace.

Aline's scream pierced through the night. The thunder had ceased, as did one of the teenagers-their lungs ceasing to heave in one last breath.

 **wow- it's been a long time since I last updated. I'm sorry that I didn't update with this a month earlier- but this has taken quite a few goes at writing this to finish this chapter. I think the next chapter will be the final one, unless you guys want an epilogue? Anyway please read and review. Criticism is key to success after all. I'll roughly be updating in two weeks.**

 **-Ruby |-/**


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